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Songwriter Alejandro Rose-Garcia, better known as Shakey Graves, talks about the ways darkness and his mental health journey have shaped his music and his outlook on life. He also discusses the art of – and the anxiety behind – self-promotion, and the desire to connect with others.
(SPF 1000) Vampire Sunscreen is a listener-supported production of KUT & KUTX Studios in Austin, Texas.
You can help make this podcast happen by donating at supportthispodcast.org.
The full transcript of this episode of (SPF 1000) Vampire Sunscreen is available on the KUT & KUTX Studio website. The transcript is also available as subtitles or captions on some podcast apps.
Laurie Gallardo: [00:00:00] There are important moments in an artist’s creative process in which they embrace the darkness. Yeah, it’s terrifying, and it may also keep your sanity intact. Welcome to (SPF 1000) Vampire Sunscreen.
Hi, I am Laurie Gallardo. Thank you for listening. We’ve returned for season two (SPF 1000) Vampire Sunscreen. Is a listener supported production of KUT and KUTX studios in Austin, Texas. If you like what you’re hearing, and I hope you do, you can support this podcast@supportthispodcast.org. It’s really quite simple.
Just [00:01:00] click the link in the show notes page. Well, we begin the new season with an artist that has gotten the attention of fans, not only across the country but worldwide.
Shakey Graves: Uh, my name is Alejandro Rose- Garcia and I am a, uh, musician and, um, artistic tinkerer. Uh, yeah. I play music for a living.
Laurie Gallardo: Like many longtime fans, especially here in Austin, my first exposure to the music of Shaky Graves was at the Iconic Hole in the wall on the drag across from UT Austin. It was a one man show featuring a kick drum fashioned out of an old suitcase, and a multi-talented musician in a three piece suit and hat.
And I still have my DIY copy of what became the 2011 album. Roll the Bones. Very recently, I just started thinking some more and [00:02:00] connecting the dots like Graves bones. This is right up my alley. Let’s dig a little deeper into Alejandro’s story. I am going to pose that one question. There’s only one question that I ask all of my guests, so.
Alejandro, um, you laugh. Now
Shakey Graves: you, you say my name much better than I do.
Laurie Gallardo: That’s okay. You know what, we’re not, we’re not gonna be nitpicking that. But now, now that we have you here, I can ask you the all encompassing question. What is the darkness to you? What is dark to you?
Shakey Graves: It is the necessary counterpart to, I guess, the light. You know, for me, I think darkness is a very important aspect to, I guess this, all the stuff that I make is very darkness based a little bit. [00:03:00] There’s sort of a thing, even just in my own memory and, and the way that I look at the world, is that I’m a generally very positive person, or at least I perceive myself as that, but.
To be positive, I have to really kind of dwell or accept and embrace a lot of the things that aren’t very positive, you know? And I think that that is kind of the darkness. It’s an important. Thing to be able to balance. Like if some big red flags to me is, is someone who has no darkness whatsoever. If someone is just like, it’s great, everything’s great.
You’re like, you’re a serial killer, probably. And you know, I think that dark doesn’t mean bad or anything like that, it’s just the, you know, it’s part of the cycle. It’s 50% of it is the darkness.
Laurie Gallardo: Two things, well, first of all, starting with what I. Noticed early on. Yeah, there’s definitely a dark element to the way you write, to the way you’ve presented [00:04:00] your work, your music, your material, your artistry.
I have my t-shirt with a skull,
Shakey Graves: you know, I’m skull obsessed. That’s good. Yeah, me too. It’s Latin heritage. I feel like a little bit.
Laurie Gallardo: I feel that, I mean, it has to be, I’ve often tried to get an explanation for that, like, what is my deal? Why do I like that? It kind of has a. A wrong impression that might be given out to family or friends, but you know,
Shakey Graves: no, I mean I think that there really is something to that, you know, I was raised here in Austin and that comes with a certain amount of whitewashing, you know, just from, even when my mom, my mom’s family, they grew up in the kind of no dogs, no Mexicans era.
Yeah. And, uh, same. So when she came to ut, she didn’t, she, her Spanish turned into Spanglish very quickly and then I didn’t grow up speaking it in the house, but my mom and is still, you know, she’s [00:05:00] a playwright and artist and all of her stuff is. Dead people and you know, and like skulls and, you know, she, she can’t get away from that stuff either.
And I think that there’s just a part of it that, yeah, it seems to come from the Hispanic side of the world to me. My dad’s not so obsessed with skulls. But he’s getting there. He’s figuring it out.
Laurie Gallardo: It’s good job, dad.
Shakey Graves: Yeah. He’ll, he’ll, he’ll come around to skeletons.
Laurie Gallardo: It’s, it’s just, I don’t know, artistically they’ve appealed to me.
Um, we’ve all got ’em. You know, we’ve all got ’em. We’ve
Shakey Graves: all got, what’s the big deal?
Laurie Gallardo: It’s, it’s okay. Yeah. Um, we, we all share that. But it’s just the morbidity I think that some people can’t deal with or function with, which could be detrimental. I think Americans in general don’t really face death very well at all.
Yeah, if they do.
Shakey Graves: Yeah. I, I think so. I think that that’s really fair and it’s [00:06:00] understandable. I think it’s a terrifying thing, but yeah, we definitely like are into hiding our dad, you know? Yeah. Making sure they seem as unde as po. You know, the burial process and funeral stuff is pretty. Wild. And I think the whole outta sight outta mind thing is kind of flush with our society right now.
You know? It’s like, oh yeah. I think we’re really good at being like, boy, it’s bad, but let’s just, we, we don’t have to like, totally. We can talk about it a little bit, but we’ll, we will move on, you know?
Laurie Gallardo: Yeah.
Shakey Graves: And, uh, yeah, we’ll see how much water that carries at, at the end of the day. But I guess with all that stuff there’s also like just actual barrel stuff.
Like I’ve, I’ve gone to, my friend’s father passed away and five years ago or something like that, but they had a green barrel, like out in Bastrop and it’s like, or in between here in Bastrop. And it was like a spot where basically they just [00:07:00] like give you the body. Like you can just sign off. It was like somebody just like drove up in a hatchback with his dad in the back of it and they were like, here you go.
You know? And the, my friends like dug the hole and you get to spend as much time with like his dad as possible. And it was a whole different experience where. And of course it came with all sorts of like real dark comedy. Like when they drove his dad up, the guy who brought him locked his keys in the car with his dad in the car and all of us were like, it was so funny and horrible all at the same time that you just like, we couldn’t even really laugh, but it was just like, this is so funny.
And they had to call a tow truck guy and they were like, so we need you to break in to the. The, his dad’s in the back and he was like, excuse me. We’re just like, just open the, open the hatchback. Like, don’t worry about it. This is not, yeah. We’re not doing something weird here, even though it is weird. No,
Laurie Gallardo: and he won’t sit up and start chewing you out either.
Shakey Graves: Right. You know, I think that was [00:08:00] the thing is that the burial itself, we got to spend as much time as we wanted and then we put dirt on him and then he was in the ground and it’s like you really saw all the steps of it. And there was at least, you know, there was a part. As a, as a viewer and and person who experienced that, that it felt final, like my brain understood that his life.
As I knew it was over and he went into the ground and then the ground covered him, and then he’s gonna like, you know, they sprinkled like wildflower seeds and stuff. It was really cool. But in the times that I’ve gone to other funerals where they basically just like shut a magical box and then they kind of disappear into a slot, you’re just like, what?
What is happening? You know? Like, where is this person gone? Yeah, it’s cleaner in one way, but it’s definitely more psychologically strange. To me, so,
Laurie Gallardo: well, psychologically strange in that we’ve been, it’s so ingrained in us now to think of it a certain way, that it has to be X, y, z. Here is the person in the box, a magical box.
And you know, once that’s [00:09:00] closed
Shakey Graves: right,
Laurie Gallardo: then you’re supposed to put that out of your mind.
Shakey Graves: Right. And that’s, that’s dark in a certain way too. That’s like, it’s very dark. That’s bad. Dark, I think. I guess there’s bad dark and good dark too. It’s
Laurie Gallardo: extremely dark. And that’s dark. Yeah, I think that’s. Personally done damage to me in my life.
Yeah. Where I think as I got older, things have gotten considerably better, but I did not deal with death very well.
No,
because we weren’t really told about it. Not really growing up. I just knew that it happened. So and so is in heaven now. Okay. Time to move on. Yeah. We’ll, I mean we’ll
Shakey Graves: get, we’ll get there.
You’ll get to that. You figure you have your whole life to figure out just what that, what, what that means. Yeah. You
Laurie Gallardo: just go on.
Shakey Graves: I mean, I feel like that stuff accumulates, you know, that’s kind of the, like the question marks just unresolved stuff in general, just kind of really stacks up. Gotcha. And I think that that ends up leaking out into other parts of everyone’s life in kind of weird unexplainable ways.
Or very visible, intense ways. [00:10:00]
Laurie Gallardo: It’s an intense experience.
I have vivid memories in my mind right now. I’m like, wow. It’s interesting, this conversation, bringing these memories up.
Yeah.
But um. Again, going back to your work, to your music. I think I saw a bit of that a long time ago, and now I make jokes about, oh, well, is that why I think of the music? I thought the music was so great.
I was like, Hey, hey. But I, I really wonder. It’s, it’s interesting how you were saying there are positive things and negative things. Hmm. And oftentimes. In talking about anything that’s dark, I’m wondering what is positive for some, which would be negative to another person.
Shakey Graves: Right. I mean, I guess that’s why I try in one way, I’m trying [00:11:00] not to say like good or bad because it’s like, I don’t think that that’s, yeah.
It’s sort of like, I guess positive and negative is more like, it’s like a force that pulls in one way or another, and I think that we all have different meanings of what could be. Yeah. Positive or negative, I guess. Yeah. But in looking at the music that I’ve made, a lot of it is not really like, I don’t really answer a lot of questions, but I like pose a lot of questions in the songs that I write, like I set up a lot of scenarios or just express things about life that I also don’t feel like I have an answer for.
And I don’t really do that on purpose, but it’s like. When I try and make stuff that I feel connected with and authentic and like, you know, when, when all the boxes are checked, it usually has an aspect of that that like, it scratches an itch of something that I’m trying to, like, something I can’t figure out and I’m trying to describe, and then that matches up with some sort of melodic thing.
Mm-hmm. [00:12:00] And the whole thing kind of secretly is. Oh, like what the F is going on? You know, like that’s those, those are all my favorite songs. Like, what the fuck? And people are like, yeah, what the fuck? And I’m like, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know, you know, don’t, I don’t have the follow up song that’s like, here’s the an, you know, I don’t, yeah, I don’t, I haven’t written the here’s the answer song.
Laurie Gallardo: But you wouldn’t really want the answers all the time. I think that would make a sense thing. It’s like, are there songs like that?
Shakey Graves: Is that Yes. Is like religious music?
Laurie Gallardo: Well, mostly people who think they have an answer. Yeah. And in reality it only brings more questions to me. Right. But I think I wouldn’t want to know all of the answers.
That would be maddening.
Shakey Graves: No, that, I mean, that’s kind of the whole project, or shaky Graves itself is like the whole idea is what it started as, was me not really knowing stuff and dealing with like coming out of, ’cause I went through a crazy, like mental health crisis when I was young in my twenties or early, early [00:13:00] twenties.
Okay. And like. I had a great time ’cause I was nutso. I was having a good time, but it was it, I had like a psychotic break at one point. Did the whole, like I was living in California and went crazy and like ran around the streets for three. I was like one of the people that you’re like, I wonder who that person’s talking to.
And it was pretty scary for everybody involved in my. In my life and I was on cloud nine, I had a great time, but that’s like the only time that I had ever experienced really kind of reality, which I’ve always believed is very malleable. You know, I’m like, I’m like, what if life is really not what you, you know, it’s like outer limits, the TV show.
Like perhaps there like ancient alien style, you know? But it had never, I’d never experienced something really shifting like that. And then I did, and it like totally blew my mind. And, um. Okay. Even still looking back on it and right now being able to say like, I was crazy or anything like that. And, and I mean that in a, in a sort of sweet way, [00:14:00] but it really, I don’t know what that really was.
And it’s not so simple, you know, as being. Just quote unquote going crazy, like we’re talking about reality is kind of an agreed upon thing. Like what I think is dark or positive or negative, could not, you know, agree with you at all, or somebody has a viable answer for something and we’re like, that does not answer anything for me.
You know?
Laurie Gallardo: Yeah.
Shakey Graves: That’s what turned into me actually creating music in a totally different way than I did before where. The first early songs I was writing were like, I was like, I should write about a girl and a car, and this one’s called Girl Car or whatever. And like that was like, you know, you’re try, I’m trying to build little stories and stuff.
And then I started, I experienced something that was just like unexplainable to me, and that was kind of what I think became so important was expressing that and asking that [00:15:00] question really to myself. And so now it’s like now I’m wearing socks and have a kid and stuff, and so the questions that I am posing are like, now I’m trying to figure out what that is for the next stage of me calling myself an artist or making things because I want to, or I’m not as.
Existentially hungry right now. And after that time I was like, what is
Laurie Gallardo: stuff? And like,
Shakey Graves: you know, who just like going out at night, like, who am I? You know? And uh, that identity for me has kind of shifted where I’m like, I don’t now. I’m like, I don’t know. You. Fuck it. Uh, you know, I’m a little more like I’ll fi I’m, I’m much closer to finding out in general at this point than, than I was then.
Mm-hmm. So, yeah, the question that I’m posing now in my life is really different than it used to be, and the, the good and dark stuff applies, or good and bad, I guess in general really is starting to apply to me less. And it’s [00:16:00] more like applying to. The people around me a lot more like my kid and my wife.
Yeah. But really just people around I’m, I’m kind of more concerned with people around me, whereas as I used to be really concerned with myself a lot
Laurie Gallardo: when we come back. Alejandro talks about the art of and the anxiety behind self-promotion, and the desire to connect and share with others. Stay tuned.
Welcome back to SPF 1000 Vampire Sunscreen and my conversation with shaky graves. It’s amazing how that happens. Yeah. To me it [00:17:00] felt like the earth shifting when I started because I, uh, I tell people, oh, I’m a late bloomer in everything, and that’s fine, that’s
Shakey Graves: great.
Laurie Gallardo: But it was troubling at first and it was extremely painful.
I do not like my twenties at all. I mean, bless my friends for staying with me. Right? That’s all I’m gonna say.
Shakey Graves: Yeah. But you, you know, you can’t cut any of these parts out. That’s the nice part. No. Is that even you not preferring it, it’s like. Well, we’re still here now, so you
Laurie Gallardo: to to reach. We gotta
Shakey Graves: love that.
Laurie Gallardo: Yeah. You have to embrace that. You have to embrace all of it.
Shakey Graves: Yeah,
Laurie Gallardo: because for a while I was rejecting it and hiding that in shame. A lot of shame.
Shakey Graves: Was it like a comf, a comfort thing? Like a comfortable, you just didn’t feel comfortable in your twenties? What do you mean you didn’t like it?
Laurie Gallardo: It was extreme self-loathing.
Like extreme in that, I don’t know if I necessarily acted out everything, but when you [00:18:00] continue to bottle things, yeah. Inside it’s deadly and explosive when it decides I am gonna burst out right now in a way that you were not expecting. Sure. Which was loads of fun.
Shakey Graves: Where were you in your twenties? Like where did you live?
Laurie Gallardo: I am originally from El Paso.
Shakey Graves: Oh, nice.
Laurie Gallardo: And, uh, I, uh, it was, um, again, I’m, I am grateful for things that I know a lot of people didn’t grow up with. You know, I did not come from a home that wasn’t stable. Yeah, everyone has their situations. Obviously we are all not perfect, but my parents were present. They were there.
That’s good. The thing is I was not,
Hmm.
It was something. Mm-hmm. And um, there was a lot of growing up that had to happen. Because I think I was really behind a lot of, well, I mean, why do I say that? Like, I kept saying I’m so behind because [00:19:00] I didn’t appreciate the, the youthfulness and the curiosity that I had, right?
When so many of my other friends were like, we need to grow up and get jobs and get families. And I didn’t really, that didn’t compute with me
right
at all. Uh, maybe, maybe job stuff. ’cause I wanted money to buy, I don’t know, music.
Shakey Graves: Sure, but now, I mean, that seems like a much more. A modern approach to stuff, you know, now people are like, don’t, don’t ever get a job, brother.
You know, like,
Laurie Gallardo: yeah. You
Shakey Graves: know, but I, I think there’s a lot of people that suffer themselves pre or, you know, are really hard on themselves for not matching up with the people around them. You know, at any given point. I’m sure people have a whole weird new form of anxiety about not being artistic enough or something now.
Laurie Gallardo: Yes. That’s
Shakey Graves: like, I didn’t make any videos today.
Laurie Gallardo: Yeah.
Shakey Graves: Which. Awful. Yeah, I, that’s awful. I feel like that sometimes, I guess. ’cause I’m supposed to be doing, I’m supposed to be [00:20:00] promoting myself constantly somehow. But that,
Laurie Gallardo: that’s, that’s a horrible thing. It’s weird. It’s weird. It doesn’t make sense. And you go into a panic sometimes, like, oh no, I should have promoted all of these things, and I just didn’t.
And oh, and then that, that obsession I have with, I’m so behind.
Shakey Graves: Yeah,
Laurie Gallardo: no, you’re not, you’re not behind on anything really.
Shakey Graves: Well, yeah, it was like I got, you know, I had that my wheel blew out on MoPac or whatever yesterday, which was, it was all a fine experience, but even during it I was like, am I supposed to be filming myself?
I was in like a life threatening I area of the highway. Oh my God. And I was like, am I supposed to be filming this in segments so that I can show people later? And I was like, at some point I like kind of brought my phone up and started to do this. And I was like. A homie chill out. Like
Laurie Gallardo: there was like
Shakey Graves: a cop like running, you know, in a safety vest and I was like, should I be filming the cop whatever?
It was just a very funny thing to cross my mind. Instead, I chose to, to not film my own potential [00:21:00] death or you know, whatever. ’cause I was like, if I get slammed at 80 miles an hour while I. Taking a selfie, it’s gonna be a, a non glorious way to go out. So I just, I just decided to be present with it, I guess.
And then I immediately, as soon as my day was derailed, that I was like. ’cause I had plan yesterday. I was gonna go reconnect with my art, you know, I was gonna go make music and stuff and it was just like, boom, got fucked. And so I, my car got taken to, you know, an auto, auto spot and they were like, it’ll be three hours.
So I just immediately went and saw a final destination. Six, or I was like, I’m going to see a final destination and eat hot wings. So, yeah. By, that’s
Laurie Gallardo: what else can you do?
Shakey Graves: And that’s what the whole movie’s about. But trusting, you know, being, you gotta, you gotta follow the signs, otherwise death is gonna drop a log on you.
Laurie Gallardo: That’s pretty much it. I appreciating the now.
Shakey Graves: Yeah.
Laurie Gallardo: I am actually not the person who [00:22:00] records everything like that. I can’t, um, and I’m kind of obsessed with privacy. Yeah. Which is, I guess in my circumstances, uh, it’s not entirely gone. But these moments that I used to have to myself. Yeah. I can’t really go anywhere now without a, a lovely person coming up to say hello or buy me a beer.
Sure. Or tho those are great. Then there are the rougher experiences, right?
Shakey Graves: Mm. I think the urge to like share with people is the thing, you know. Deep down it’s like, it’s kind, it’s not a, it’s not an inherently like nefarious thing to want to share.
Laurie Gallardo: No, no. These,
Shakey Graves: all these moments with other people. But it does the process of having to become self-aware to, to capture them sometimes really like, destroys the magic of them too.
So it’s tough. It’s like a double, you know, I like to keep track of [00:23:00] stuff, you know, I take photos and, and record video of people and, you know, it’s like I can, I have. Been responsible for sucking the magic outta a situation by pointing a lens at it many times. And it’s incredible how that is like a weird art form in its own too, to, to like carry a camera around and try and capture magical moments.
But like people who are really good at it, you don’t even notice that they have a camera ’cause it’s, it becomes part of them. And so
Laurie Gallardo: yeah,
Shakey Graves: it’s wild.
Laurie Gallardo: I think it is an art form to an extent,
Shakey Graves: but now we all have like the nicest camera in the world. Which is crazy. It’s
Laurie Gallardo: insanity. And again, I guess I’m just, I don’t know.
I, I really, I admire the, the friends who know how to do that. Yeah. And capture things that way. I have friends that are really good at it. And again, you’re right. I don’t even notice they’re doing it. Yeah. And I’ll see it later and be like, wow. That’s lovely. Yeah. It’s just not always in me, ever. To do something like that.
It may be my [00:24:00] age. It may be the fact that I’m just kind of, I don’t know that thing about having some moments like that to myself, but then again, there I am vicariously living through lovely baby videos.
Shakey Graves: Yeah. You were like, I saw you blew your car out. I’m like, and then I saw that, you see, I did film myself once I, I filmed like.
Afterwards, you know? Yeah. He was like, I should have caught it all.
Laurie Gallardo: Like I should have done the whole thing. It would’ve been, it would’ve been
Shakey Graves: crazy.
Laurie Gallardo: Yeah. Everyone would’ve been, oh, I hope he is. Okay. We’re out on
Shakey Graves: oped. Yeah. You know,
Laurie Gallardo: somebody help me.
Shakey Graves: Oh my god.
Laurie Gallardo: It, it could have gone either way. And you know what?
You did your thing and that’s fine.
Shakey Graves: It’s mine now. It’s yours. I’ll keep it for, it’s mostly mine
Laurie Gallardo: because all I had to see was a crunchy tire. Yeah. To go, oh, no, I hope everything’s all right.
Shakey Graves: Yeah. Yeah. It was, yeah. Yeah. That’s the weirdest part about all this stuff is like all the super intense things like that, you know, they, they fly by as well.
It’s like I was, it felt like. That intense moment happened and I was off the highway within like eight minutes [00:25:00] magically like wow. Like I had to call 9 1 1 and then a cop came, and then that hero, which is like the roadside service that all of Texas has, which is good to know that if you get in a bind, it’s on the back of our driver’s licenses and they’ll come and like, change your tire for you and whatever.
And they were there super quick and had to escort me. Across all four lanes of MoPac while my car was like, and then it was like the lady was like, I already called a tow truck and I was off. I was just suddenly watching a movie within like an hour, and I was like, that was weird.
Laurie Gallardo: Wow.
Shakey Graves: That was super weird.
Laurie Gallardo: Super weird. But I’m glad it went better than most, you know. Glad that it went okay. Yeah. We prefer to avoid that, but it went for what it was. It was okay.
Shakey Graves: It was an interesting change of events in my planned day. Yeah. Which I, which I welcome. Holy, whatever. I probably didn’t wanna make anything that day anyway.
You know? I’m [00:26:00] like, I wanted to go see a movie, so did I make all this happen? Did I run over a nail? You know? Mm. I force this into itself
Laurie Gallardo: magical. A magical thing. Maybe, maybe, maybe,
Shakey Graves: maybe we do, maybe we do do that.
Laurie Gallardo: It’s that guy set out to do that on purpose. Yeah.
Shakey Graves: Maybe we do be doing that.
Laurie Gallardo: Maybe we do be, do be do.
Mm-hmm. Be.
So first of all, I appreciate your insight. Thank you so much. And now the tables have turned, and you are allowed to ask me a question, but make it count. Can’t be like, what is your favorite food? And then I’ll be like, oh, this interview is over.
Shakey Graves: Um, what is your favorite item in your house?
Laurie Gallardo: Seriously, but I,
Shakey Graves: I [00:27:00] mean, I do You don’t say like your bathtub or something.
Like a, like a Okay. Like an acquired item.
Laurie Gallardo: Oh,
Shakey Graves: mm-hmm. Like a curio.
Laurie Gallardo: Oh my word. Oh, like your
Shakey Graves: a monkey’s paw or whatever.
Laurie Gallardo: Oh, heaven forbid that I would get one of those. It’s already counting down all of the fingers. I’m going through my house right now, interestingly, and people are always shocked when I say this, I don’t really have curiosities like that.
Mm. Like you would think, ah, I know she has a stuffed raven. Amazing.
Shakey Graves: She has, I was, I was setting you up for the stuffed Raven question. You’re right.
Laurie Gallardo: The, the poor taxidermy bet over there in the corner, under the clo. Um, but that is such a good question. I I do have something. I mean, it’s just something I see every day.
Mm-hmm. And perhaps I can put the name of the artist at the end of, uh, this episode. But there are two perfect little oval signs in old English. Font and one of them [00:28:00] says dark and deadly, and the other one says she herself is a haunted house.
Nice.
They are actually. Healthy reminders for me, both of them, dark and deadly makes me laugh.
Like I really didn’t understand or realize that growing up I kind of intimidated some people. Mm-hmm. And this was before I felt more comfortable expressing myself on the outside. I have always been like this since I was a kid. My mom wasn’t crazy about me wearing black all the time. So that didn’t happen until way later.
And even then, this whole thing about assimilation, which is horrible. Mm-hmm. In any level, any form. I really tried. I really genuinely tried and I just did not, it didn’t work, it didn’t compute good, so dark and deadly. Ha. You know, I’m a little nicer than deadly, but I can be scary. And the other sign she herself is a haunted house.
I do have a fascination with [00:29:00] people. Who talk about super quote unquote supernatural experiences.
Yeah.
I’ve only had one thing like that happen to me in my life, but I was talking about this and my dad kind of looked me in the eye very squarely, and he said A house is haunted by the ghosts that you bring to it.
Nice. And I just kind of went, wow. Wow. We, wow, wow. Where did you get that? Wow. And it just kind of, he’s, he is like, did I say that? I don’t remember that. Amazing. But, but that stuck with me. And I said, then, damn, every place I’ve ever lived in mm-hmm. Has been haunted, top to bottom ghosts everywhere. Oh my gosh.
Even now. Yeah. It just kind of. It grounds me to, to read that. And again, I also laugh. She herself is a haunted house. Mm-hmm. It cracks me up. Both of these signs may seem rather dark, but they put a smile on my face and I have to laugh at myself. For the longest time, I did not have a sense of humor, and my parents were [00:30:00] genuinely worried.
Yeah.
I could be a smart ass like anybody, but I did not have a sense of humor. If I wasn’t in charge. If I wasn’t in control, then it wasn’t funny. Oh my God. That’s who I was in my twenties.
Shakey Graves: That’s funny. It’s That sounds hilarious though.
Laurie Gallardo: It’s hilarious now. But in my twenties I can see a little, you like, no, no, not funny.
It, it was just a nightmare. It was a never ending nightmare. And I thought, man, I had. Better learn to crack up at this stupidity or foolishness. Yeah. And do a lot of letting go.
Yeah.
So those are the two things in my house at this moment there. You know, it’s interesting that I don’t have any taxidermy. Go figure.
No, I’m say, but uh,
Shakey Graves: yeah. I imagine your walls are all like periwinkle and you know, bright yellow, right? I feel sick. No, I
Laurie Gallardo: feel sick.
It’s No, we’ll
Shakey Graves: get you some, we’ll get you some. Maybe that’s [00:31:00] too on the nose if you had a stuffed raven, but, uh, I’m gonna keep my eye out.
Laurie Gallardo: Okay.
Shakey Graves: We’ll get you a, we’ll get you a stuffed raven.
Laurie Gallardo: It, it’s as long as it has been acquired. Well, legally and ethically, the people in the
Shakey Graves: spooky, perhaps sp and spook, spook, perhaps,
Laurie Gallardo: Ooh, Kelly. You know, you could even have an expression. Imagine this raven with his beak open. Ah. Mm-hmm. Um, but probably, probably not. Just a very nice, you wanna find
Shakey Graves: like a mysterious stuffed raven in like an estate stale that’s like just one day it just appeared.
You know?
Laurie Gallardo: It’s got Laurie’s name all over it. Yeah, we
Shakey Graves: don’t know. It says Laurie’s name on it.
Laurie Gallardo: Many thanks to Alejandro Rose Garcia. AKA shaky graves for this candid conversation. Your. Vampire sunscreen, host and creator is me. Yours truly, Laurie Gallardo, editing and mixing by Jack Anderson. Original [00:32:00] music composed by Renee Chavez Graphic designed by Dave McClinton. Very special thanks to our engineer and producer Nu Thomas.
And thank you to our fearless podcast leader. Elizabeth McQueen, SPF 1000 Vampire Sunscreen is a listener supported production of KUT and KUTX studios in Austin, Texas. And if you like what you’re hearing, you can support our work@supportthispodcast.org. Please make sure you leave us a rating or review wherever you listen.
And now something to keep in mind. We search for the light, but behold the darkness. Until next time.
This transcript was transcribed by AI, and lightly edited by a human. Accuracy may vary. This text may be revised in the future.
