On this special edition of (SPF 1000) Vampire Sunscreen, recorded live at Laguna Gloria, artist and musician Thor Harris talks about the importance of empathy and creating art…and the insight of those who’ve gone to hell and back.
(SPF 1000) Vampire Sunscreen is a listener-supported production of KUT & KUTX Studios in Austin, Texas. You can support this podcast at supportthispodcast.org.
Credits:
Host, Creator, Producer: Laurie Gallardo
Producer: Elizabeth McQueen
Editing and Mixing: Jack Anderson
Original Music: Rene Chavez
Photo and Video: Michael Minasi
Art: Dave McClinton
The full transcript of this episode of (SPF 1000) Vampire Sunscreen is available on the KUT & KUTX Studio website. The transcript is also available as subtitles or captions on some podcast apps.
Mando Rayo In the next proximo because of Texas taco pop culture from tacos, sticks, antics and medium pop culture and cultural appropriation, We’ll explore the highs and lows of taco pop culture. You can find packages of Texas on Coyote Dawg or wherever you get your podcasts.
Laurie Gallardo Sometimes our ability to create art is what saves us. It may maintain any shred of sanity we have left, and there are moments when this desire, this drive to create is what helps you recognize the darkness. Welcome to SPF 1000 Vampire Sunscreen. I’m Laura Gallardo. Thank you so much for listening. And this episode marks a special occasion. Episode seven of SPF 1000 Vampires Sunscreen was recorded live before an audience at the beautiful Laguna Gloria here in Austin. We’re eternally grateful to everyone from the contemporary Austin for the use of this lovely outdoor amphitheater surrounded by different works of art and natural beauty. And it provided the perfect setting to host my special guest. A much loved, respected and admired person, a skilled and multi-talented artist and musician. No stranger to Laguna, Gloria, by the way, and no stranger to the darkness.
Thor Harris Hi, my name is Thor Harris. I moved here in 1985 to go to art school. But what I really wanted to do was form a lot of weird bands with the weird people that I met here. So quickly I dropped out of U.T. Art School and did just that. And that’s what I still do. I do still make visual art. But I would say a lot more of my energy goes into making music with all the weird, wonderful people that I’ve met in Austin.
Laurie Gallardo I’ve worked in music for many years. That’s my job. I’m the glorified messenger, eagerly sharing all kinds of music with the world. And I’ve always been fascinated with and thrilled by the intersection of music and visual art, as well as music and the spoken word. Thor Harris inspires me on both these levels. He’s a natural born storyteller. He carries magical imagery, humor, depth, fury, compassion. That’s a big one as you’re about to discover. And so soar in front of all these wonderful people here tonight, I present you with a question that I ask all of my guests. And it is this Thor. What is the darkness to you? What is dark to you?
Thor Harris Everyone that I’ve met throughout my life who just exudes kindness or radical empathy or generosity and everyone funny, everyone really funny that I have met has been to some really awful places at some point in their life, maybe in their childhood. I don’t know what a well-adjusted, happy childhood is. I’ve never met anyone with one. I mean, I had nice parents, but some things went wrong. So for me, meeting all these amazing people who had been through some sort of hell makes me want to describe the darkness as perhaps this acknowledgment that everyone you love will be mercilessly torn from you in this life. Your hot firm body will turn to mush slowly before your eyes. You’ll just be thrown asunder. But here you are. So think of something funny to say or. Or be sweet to people because you know they’re in the same boat. I mean, we’re all in this together, and I’d like to think that there’s a shortcut for those of you who’ve had wonderful lives to this point. But the fastest way to get to this superpower of radical empathy and compassion is through the darkness. Like I used to think, Wow, me and all my musician friends were all so nuts. You know, we’re all on psychotropic meds to keep from killing ourselves. And. And then I got to know comedians. Wow. They’re really nuts. Those people are more bummed out and than musicians. Yeah, Comedy comes from the darkness. I heard this one thing recently that most of the really funny people, well, many of them have dealt with depression or alcoholism or something, but many of them had a parent with depression. So that so comedy became like, well, I can make mom laugh, you know? They sort of honed the comedian’s skills on mom.
Laurie Gallardo It’s the parental unit, you know, like, you know what? I’m going to help out. And this is oftentimes a younger brain saying this.
Thor Harris Yeah.
Laurie Gallardo I need to do something because you’re looking at the parent, the mom or the dad. And this is someone that typically you look up to and anyone that young to see an adult struggling like that. I don’t even have words.
Thor Harris You just want. Yeah, you want them. You want to make mom happy.
Laurie Gallardo Yeah. You want to help in some way. And that comedy is absolutely it. That’s it.
Thor Harris Yeah. My dad died when I was ten. I just wanted. My mom is. Stop crying and laugh sometimes. Have you guys been hearing this word in dark and meant it’s used instead of enlightenment?
Laurie Gallardo I should use it quite often.
Thor Harris Yeah. It’s a good You know who I heard use that word? Ray Wylie Hubbard.
Laurie Gallardo Of course. Ray Wylie. He used that.
Thor Harris He’s so cool. He’s a Buddhist, y’all. If you don’t, he’s the guy who wrote that song Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother. He’s just like a magical, sweet human and a Buddhist. And I heard him use, I think in an interview wasn’t I’ve met him. I played one show with him, but I heard him use the term in dark and meant.
Laurie Gallardo In what context? Because I’m constantly saying this thing about embracing it or facing it, or when you’re surrounded by it, know that you’re not trapped. Even if you feel like you are so deep in something that you can’t escape. It’s not true.
Thor Harris No, but it’s overwhelming. We don’t want this episode to be the bummer episode. I promise. There’s some funny stuff coming up.
Laurie Gallardo No, let me assure you, this will not be the premiere episode.
Thor Harris You know, here’s another term that I heard just in the last couple of years. I heard this one from Kevin Schneider from Remember That Dude? Yeah, the guy is so funny. And I know how he got that way, too. Yeah, he laid on me the term toxic optimism.
Laurie Gallardo Yeah.
Thor Harris That is such a great term.
Laurie Gallardo But that was like before anyone was saying that.
Thor Harris Well, yes. I don’t know. I just heard it like three, maybe three years ago, that term. And boy, I could have used that term when I was a kid and I thought, well, I’m just a negative creep. I don’t know. You know, these pep rallies, they freak me out again. But but horror films and Halloween, that’s that’s my language.
Laurie Gallardo And people want to know why. Why? Because people want to know why we like each other.
Thor Harris When me and Lori Gallardo were born. Picture a little baby. Laurie Garrido, all the devils in hell and all the angel nuts that many of the angels and most of the devils were like, Let’s make this one a god. Same thing happen to me.
Laurie Gallardo That is an accurate description. Yes. But, you know, I have to say this in terms of childhood and in our parents, I do have those dark tastes. I do love that. Now, granted, I am the biggest chicken on the planet. And if you were to take me to say a haunted attraction or to a genuinely, you know, gory film, like a slasher film or something, you know, I’m covering my eyes. I’m like, okay, okay, maybe. No, no, no, not right now. No, I’m genuinely a scaredy cat, but I’m obsessed with behind the scenes and I’ve talked about this on the podcast before. I appreciate the artistry that goes into it, and this has been me forever. And my parents, you know, they’re like, Why does everything have to be in black? You know, you should wear some nice color. But that being said, in her youth, my mom read a lot of these magazines about true crime. And this was before podcast. This is in the 50s where you would get these like magazines and they were just chock full of these stories. It made you gasp and my God.
Thor Harris This murder they never.
Laurie Gallardo Solved. She loved it. And my dad, his taste in cinema, the film that he recommended to me when I was what maybe I was. I said, Hey, what’s Taxi Driver? Or the one thing that he would tell me is you should do your homework. So pre-Internet there I go to the library and what would I be checking out? These spooky stories and all these things, you know, wonderfully written ghost tales. The apple did not fall that far from the tree or.
Thor Harris Yeah.
Laurie Gallardo So for them to be like, where does she get this from? Really? You’re going to ask me that again? That’s okay. I’ll just remind you. But I say it with a lot of love. I do have amazing parents. I have incredible parents. I worry every damn day about them. But I’m also proud to carry on certain. What will we call them? Traditions.
Thor Harris Yeah. Well, I’m grateful to your parents for making Laurie gay are.
Laurie Gallardo No, thank you.
Thor Harris Do you ever meet them? I’ll tell them.
Laurie Gallardo You know what? They will love you for that. Or they’ll be like.
Thor Harris Who is that?
Laurie Gallardo Your Thor? Yeah. They’ll be like, Who is this? But I ask you, where do I get it from? My wonderfully dark parents. They have to come to terms with that.
Thor Harris Something hugely important to people who have the darkness in them is art made by people who have the darkness in them. Have a list.
Laurie Gallardo To share it.
Thor Harris A little list. There’s way more, of course. Rothko. Mark. Rothko. Yeah. Those paintings aren’t actually solid black. If you stare at them for a while, there’s color in there. William Burroughs. Charles Bukowski. Kurt Vonnegut. Leonard Cohen. Screamin Jay Hawkins. Joy Division. Boathouse. The Swans. Bill Callahan. Do you know that people consider but put a spell on you that people consider that the first Goth song? Isn’t that cool?
Laurie Gallardo That makes me.
Thor Harris Screamin Jay Hawkins.
Laurie Gallardo That makes me so happy.
Thor Harris Yeah. And tons of people have covered it.
Laurie Gallardo Because.
Thor Harris It’s so good.
Laurie Gallardo Because it’s so amazing and creepy. What? Do you know what I thought of recently? Not so much visual art, but it gave me such a visual in my mind. It was Toni Morrison, and I used to love to hear Toni Morrison speaking to speaking, and she’d be sharing and saying the things that she would say. And years ago there was a review of Beloved. Now, if you haven’t read this book, maybe you should read it by candlelight. You will be completely engrossed. But there was a particular passage where two of the characters, one of the main characters and a gentleman was just standing outside. I think it was of the home. And he he wouldn’t step in. There was this. What did she say? A red pool of undulating light, something like that. And the hairs on my arm started to stand up. And he actually said, What kind of evil you got in there? And he wouldn’t he, like, stepped back. I could just hear it in Toni Morrison’s voice.
Thor Harris I want to hear that.
Laurie Gallardo Yeah. Especially if she did a reading. I would love for that. I mean, there are recordings, and I’m sure if you go on YouTube, you can find something like that. But I could just hear her for hours. For hours? Yeah. Anything that Neil Gaiman reads. I could listen to him forever and ever. Yeah.
Thor Harris He talks.
Laurie Gallardo Cool. He talks real cool. I don’t know what it is. And that got me hooked on doing readings myself. I read other people’s works. And I do that at various venues and it’s really exciting. I love doing the dramatic reading because I myself am dramatic.
Thor Harris Because the last two artists that I named, I liked them so much, Swan’s and Bill Callahan, that you decided I wrote them letters and joined their bands. Yes, that’s how I got in those bands. I knew of Neil Gaiman. I wrote Amanda Palmer a letter, and that’s how I. That’s how I got in her band to hell.
Laurie Gallardo Yeah.
Thor Harris And so I got to meet Neil Gaiman. They were married for a.
Laurie Gallardo While, for a time. And I have a quick swan story because they did perform not too long ago at the Paramount Theater.
Thor Harris Yeah, I ran into Laurie out on the street, but I was walking down the street. I was like, Some of the swans you’re.
Laurie Gallardo Going to be playing. And it was so wonderful. And I forgot to tell you what happened to me. It was this incredible show. I was having a marvelous time. I was there with friends and I’m allowed to tell the story because my Paramount family really appreciates it. They know me. They know I’m not there to cause trouble. But a little something happened. Who’s after a song? And I went to the front and joined some friends in the front because the band said, Hey, everyone, please come to the stage. And I think that kind of drove some of the people working the aisles crazy. I didn’t know how crazy until this happened. I was showing off Laurie. Don’t ever show off. And it was after a song. I waited and made sure it was after a song. And I told my friend Leslie Sisson, Here, hold my bag. And I pretended to faint and I hit the ground. And it must have looked horrible. It must have looked bad. It was just stupid either way. And one of the ushers got the police. And I was escorted out of the Paramount Theater.
Thor Harris Why did you do that, Laurie?
Laurie Gallardo Because I thought it was hilarious. I was. I was happy. I was like, hurray. And I. And I, you know, pretended that I was so ecstatic that, I fainted and it was not funny.
Thor Harris Did you want a police escort?
Laurie Gallardo No. When would I ever request something like that specifically? So what happened was I didn’t fight it because that would have gotten me in more trouble. And and I just said, Really? And again, I love my family at the Paramount too much to be a jackass. So I just let them walk me out. And Leslie Sisson, who’s in the band moving panoramas, and my friend Erica Shamali, just followed me outside and Swans. And that was my that was my thing.
Thor Harris Wow.
Laurie Gallardo Is that the darkness? I don’t know.
Thor Harris I think so. It sounds like part of it. It’s so big.
Laurie Gallardo A smidge. But you know what? Again. We laughed about this like later. You know, I host or I do a lot of things with Paramount and with Stateside as a paramount. Yeah. Kerry Rodriguez has this wonderful thing called Laboratorio that she does. And it is a laboratory of this incredible sound all coming together with different artists. I’m always there. They know me. They, you know, they know the work that I do. They know that I’m not going to go around smashing windows. I like to pretend that I am or, you know, maybe I should never pretend to faint ever again. But if I didn’t find the humor in it, I would have been so embarrassed and sad and. That’s not that’s not good. And I’m sure the band, if anyone saw it, they might have found that amusing as well. I promise. I’m a nice person most of the time.
Thor Harris She has a nice home. You know, I was thinking about two. I was thinking about the Aztecs and the Catholics coming together. Two cultures completely obsessed with blood. Because Halloween is coming up. Because Halloween really is an American thing. Like, if you ever spend Halloween in Europe, which I’m about to do, it’s not that big there. They did have something called All Hallows Eve, but when it came in mixed with the whole Aztec as thetic, that’s when it became what it is now. And it’s such a beautiful thing. I love that it’s gotten more and more grotesque. And it starts like, when does it start? The beginning of September now.
Laurie Gallardo Well, start to see. Let me let me inform you that some of us start shopping for Halloween decor in June.
Thor Harris Yeah. Good.
Laurie Gallardo I’ve you know.
Thor Harris I’m certainly fantasizing about Halloween.
Laurie Gallardo Yes.
Thor Harris In June.
Laurie Gallardo In June. And it’s just a trend. Well, it’s not really a trend, but many of us discovered that to go shopping for décor that we wanted year round, you would go Halloween shopping and, you know, just avoid the things that are overtly orange and you can have these in your household all year.
Thor Harris Yeah, I put stuff in my yard around Halloween and, you know, kind of pretending, this is just for Halloween, but it stays all year round in the my yard.
Laurie Gallardo There are so many artists. I mean, you don’t have to go to a chain store. There are many independent artists who sell some really amazing things and amazing sculpture and amazing designs and artwork that you can get for all year. And they’re very spooky. I’m a happy Laurie. You know, I do that on the regular as or really supporting local artists as much as humanly possible. And it’s incredible.
Thor Harris That little book that I gave to Laurie is like a little graphic novel that I wrote. Thought that I was going to write a real book, you know, like with 250 pages and stuff. But I was on tour with that band Shearwater Forever, and those guys are like, they have masters degrees and stuff. They’re real brainiacs. And so the way I write is like, how many of these words could I do away with and still have it make sense? Right. But drawing pictures, yeah, it’s really helpful.
Mando Rayo In the next proximo because of Texas taco pop culture from tacos, sticks, antics and medium pop culture and cultural appropriation will explore the highs and lows of taco pop culture. You can find tacos of Texas on Coyote Dawg or wherever you get your podcasts.
Thor Harris I just heard this quote today. It’s a permission quote. I don’t know where this is going, but because I heard it today, I want to read it to you.
Laurie Gallardo I’ll share it.
Thor Harris My friend has it tattooed on her arm. Only in the event that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.
Laurie Gallardo That is a tattoo.
Thor Harris Yeah. My friend Jen Daley has it tattooed on her.
Laurie Gallardo I know Jen Daley. You do? I love Jen Daley.
Thor Harris Love her.
Laurie Gallardo I’ve toured with Jen Daley in a Tom Waits cover band that Rick McNulty and his wife Ellen put together. And it was all a tribute to Tom Waits, and it was phenomenal. And Jen Daley went on the road with us.
Thor Harris Wow.
Laurie Gallardo I love her. And I didn’t know that that was what she had.
Thor Harris You can’t read it. I asked her to. Yeah. I said, what does that say, Jen? You know, tattoos.
Laurie Gallardo But that makes sense to me because Jen Daley is a phenomenal mind. And speaking of someone who has so much empathy.
Thor Harris Yeah, she sure does. And my gal Peg, Peggy Ghorbani, licensed acupuncturist, marimba player for the band Thor Friends. She wrote that to Jen. And Jen said, Peggy wrote this to me, and I had it tattooed on my arm.
Laurie Gallardo The connections?
Thor Harris Yeah. And I kind of wanted to mention that on this episode. Then I also heard, and I don’t really remember the exact words that are used, but I heard some. It might have been tick. Not. Hahn said something like, I want my heart to be pulverized, you know, broken and just smashed 200 times so that I can know, like, true empathy.
Laurie Gallardo That’s the only way that happens.
Thor Harris Sort of the same thought. Yeah. I mean, I think it is maybe the only way that it happens. You do meet young people, you know. Ever heard you ever heard someone say, you do meet young people where somebody says, he’s he’s got an old soul. What I think that that actually is because I’m I don’t actually believe in reincarnation. Maybe you do. It’s fine. But what I think that is, is just a young person who just is very astute and realizes, there’s a lot of suffering here.
Laurie Gallardo You know.
Thor Harris I need to be kind and gentle with these people because they’re all in this. Nobody gets out alive.
Laurie Gallardo Nobody gets out alive. I think it’s being attune to to that frequency and being aware of one’s surroundings. Yeah. I’ve often had that directed at me when I was younger and such an old soul, you know, like, I don’t know. But I would, I would use it, I would use it. And I guess it was about the compassion. It was about really pausing. And but, you know, it didn’t help the way I spoke. It didn’t help the way I would write things. It didn’t help the way I would look at things. You know, it’s still kind of stuck out like a sore thumb.
Thor Harris Did you have brothers and sisters?
Laurie Gallardo Yes. One half sister. Two brothers. Fraternal twins. They still love me.
Thor Harris Where are they?
Laurie Gallardo Well, my parents are in El Paso, as is one of my brothers. My other brother is in a city just outside of Vegas. And they are all incredible. And my brothers and I love horror films. And Godzilla and. Yeah. Yeah. Runs in the family. But. Absolutely. Absolutely. It’s just. I don’t like being vulnerable. I hate that.
Thor Harris It’s a super power. I mean, it takes courage to open yourself up to criticism or whatever.
Laurie Gallardo That that is the thing that’s fascinating that you say to being, you know, being open to criticism, you know, being open to having people share with you things that aren’t necessarily things you want to hear that I am almost connecting to without a problem. It’s everything. It’s The Good Stuff as well.
Thor Harris Yeah.
Laurie Gallardo This thing that people keep discussing imposter syndrome. I don’t know if I understand that. I don’t know if I comprehend that fully. But when you are dealing with years of self-loathing and you think you don’t deserve great things. I mean, you’re almost ready for. For criticisms, for critiques, for for things that that aren’t easy to hear or aren’t complimentary. So I really have to stop and think about that as well. Have you ever had to really sit with that imposter syndrome?
Thor Harris Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Kevin from Urban Heat asked this great question. And I’ve been I have asked myself this was on episode one of this podcast, I’ve asked myself this question I like, especially when I’m sabotaging myself and saying, you’re really not that good of a musician. You’re really just faking this. And the question that Kevin asked was something like this You can correct me if I get it wrong. It was something like what? With like eight year old. You think if that little person could look and see the life that you’ve made for yourself and all that you’ve done? That’s such a great question. You know, I mean, it’s wonderful. Yeah. And I mean, especially if you’re experiencing something like imposter syndrome.
Laurie Gallardo And we actually answered Kevin. We were saying, Yo, you know what little Lori would be like, right?
Thor Harris Yeah, not bad. Made a good life for yourself.
Laurie Gallardo It’s. You never think in those terms. Yeah, you never, ever pause that way. So I really do. I agree with you. I think that was an excellent question.
Thor Harris So I did this thing last weekend that I want to tell you about. And this is I wasn’t I wasn’t planning on telling you about it when I was like a teenager. This woman in the 1960s started this theater program in my town, Laporte, Texas. That’s where I grew up. It’s right at the tip of Galveston Bay. You know, most people worked for the petrochemical industry down there, pretty conservative. Texas town football is a big thing. But this woman’s Sonia Angelo started this theater program. And all of the queers and all of the creative people and all like all of the people that I really resonated with would get together starting in October and work for four months to put on a musical like one of the classic musicals like Music Man or Singin in the Rain or The Wiz or something. And she just died like a month ago, and we went down to Memorial. Well, I went down to a memorial for Sonia Angelou last weekend, and and I’m still friends with tons of those people that went through that theater program, like some something about that theater program just really sort of pulled the kids. I mean, they were like football players in the show and people that I didn’t really jive with that well, but in in a way, because I went and hung out with people who knew me when I was three and people who knew me when I was five, it’s sort of like that. It’s sort of like going back and going. What would that person think of the life you’ve made for yourself? You know, to know people for so long.
Laurie Gallardo Yeah. And to really step back.
Thor Harris Yeah.
Laurie Gallardo Because I keep forgetting to do that myself. Step back. Check it out. Where are you at right now? As opposed to, say, ten years ago? 20 years ago? I never think that way. Never think that way. I’m always going, going, going, going. And, Well, what about tomorrow? Well, what about this? Well, why did you forget that? You totally forgot. And like, it’s this history. Well, I don’t like to use the word hysterical, because, as you know, that was so negatively pressed upon women and identifying you. Yeah.
Thor Harris You know, some of the madness language that I kind of do like and I do and I use it just to describe myself. I don’t put my terms on anybody else. But when I sort of lost my mind when I was 27, I like the term nervous breakdown because at that feels nobody uses that term anymore. But I was told that my maternal grandmother had a nervous breakdown, had to go in a hospital for a while. Back in the I don’t I don’t know when this would have been the 30s or the 20s, but now I don’t mind that term. They’re always changing. The terms for depression is to be melancholy and all of it. Yeah. Yeah, it’s a good one, right? And nervous breakdown. That’s. That’s what it kind of what it felt like.
Laurie Gallardo I think whatever you connect to.
Thor Harris Yeah.
Laurie Gallardo There was something that I learned recently and it’s like please do not correct someone when they’re using language. Language is to communicate. And the whole thing about, you know, I had to get over my hang up because people now say entitled when they’re talking about the title of something and they’re not they’re not talking about entitlement. And it used to like, my years would be grinding. But just to let go of that, you know, you know what people are talking about. And if they’re communicating something and you understand it, the last thing you want to do is correct. Yeah. And I just feel that in this circumstance when talking a. About mental health. You don’t have to correct anybody. Nervous breakdown. That is what you connected to. Melancholia. To me, sounded like poetry. Growing up, my melancholia, my melancholy days. So I don’t really think that’s necessarily a negative thing.
Thor Harris Yeah. Yeah, I like that word. Yeah.
Laurie Gallardo All right. Now we’re going to wrap this up. But before we do, all my guests are allowed to ask me a question. So I’ve been talking with Dora this whole time. Now, you are allowed to ask me a question, but I always say this. Make it count. It can’t be. What’s your favorite food? Because I will get up and leave. So.
Thor Harris Well, Shannon said this one earlier, but I’ve got to ask. Tell me what the darkness is to you, Lori Gay or to.
Laurie Gallardo The first guest? Everyone who posed the question right back to me, and I didn’t even have time to think. But I did say when that question might come up, it may be different from time to time. It may change because of the experiences that I’m going through, because something that’s in the front of my mind at the moment. And one of the things that came to my mind when I did bother to give this some thought. Darkness to me usually means the absence of something. And that’s weird coming from a person who identifies as goth and loves things that are dark. And when you peer into the darkness, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s not always the abyss. But I think in terms of the absence of music, the absence of comedy, and those two are the big ones for me. You know, people like Eddie Izzard have been she’s been such an influence on me for so many years. But again, there’s some dark patches, you know, that come from that as well. But the absence of that, I can’t even begin to imagine the absence of music. And another thing that I was asked not too long ago, well, how can you say you’re goth and you play all this all these different kinds of music? And I’m like, How terribly small and sad your universe would be if you stuck yourself with just one kind of music? And any goth. Any Goth might tell you that. Okay, don’t narrow yourself down to some just one specific thing. My love for that music is just overflowing. But to have the the work that I do and to get to do the things that I do with Kotex, how on earth could I narrow my brain to just. Well, you know, I’m going to sit here and listen to our house 24 seven. That’s not a bad thing. But how can you expand? How can you move forward? And I think it’s scary to move forward. I think people genuinely are terrified to move forward. So it has been an absolute joy to get to hang out with you this evening.
Thor Harris To Lauren G.
Laurie Gallardo It does not feel like work. Yeah. This is like.
Thor Harris I would do this for.
Laurie Gallardo Yeah.
Thor Harris Catching up in the back of a powerhouse show. Yeah.
Laurie Gallardo I’ll just check in with Peter Murphy and we can see where that happens. Everyone, if you could please, please give all the applause to my wonderful guest, Thor Harris, this evening.
Thor Harris And give us some applause to Laura Gallardo.
Laurie Gallardo You know, we do have a little time. If anyone has a question for Laurie or Thor, we have this microphone set up over here.
Thor Harris So I have a question for Laurie.
Laurie Gallardo Okay.
Thor Harris Do you consider yourself a dark person?
Laurie Gallardo Well, I don’t really know about that because that was often told to me by other people. To me, the things that I found joy with this this goes back to when I was a kid and I would hear that a lot as I got older. Like, you are so dark, Larry, I don’t understand why you have to be so dark. And it was a natural curiosity, being morbid. And that was another word. How morbid. But there I was, having the grandest time. And, you know, again, I didn’t understand it or I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. My parents always encouraged me to read or write. As I said earlier, my dad would be like, Do your homework. And I would go in and learn more about whatever it was. It was fascinating me, whether it was music or comedy or the history of radio. Don’t even get me started on that. We’ll be here for another hour. It really did. But but that is such a great question because I never thought, I’m such a dark person. Instead, people would tell me that.
Thor Harris Yeah, they tell me that mostly I’m wearing a black T-shirt with the word devil on it. So I you know, I don’t know what it is, but it has it has helped me. It has saved me. And help me with some tough decisions sometimes.
Laurie Gallardo Absolutely.
Thor Harris You’re certainly not alone.
Laurie Gallardo Yeah, absolutely. Thank you, Tommy.
Thor Harris Thank you so much for what you’ve done, and I appreciate. That’s a nice thing when you. When when you realize that you’re not alone. Isn’t it?
Laurie Gallardo It’s a trip. It’s a trip. Because I never again, it’s. It’s okay to be, you know, out of the patterns, out of the ordinary. But truly, you aren’t alone, you know?
Thor Harris No.
Laurie Gallardo Do we have another question for questions?
Thor Harris Yes.
Laurie Gallardo Wait.
Thor Harris You got a question? Hi. Hi. I wasn’t sure if someone else is going to go up, but I just wanted to say you guys are incredible. What a great show for the inspiration all day. Thank you.
Laurie Gallardo Thank you so much.
Thor Harris Thanks for being here. Of course, I have a question for both of us so we know a little bit about your darkness, but what brings you peace?
Laurie Gallardo That is an excellent question. You should rejoice with that because.
Thor Harris That’s a great question.
Laurie Gallardo Often, I think, again, letting go and that’s been a major one for me because I still in many circumstances don’t know how. And a good example would be this podcast because I work with a team of people and for years it was, no, I have to do this my my own self. And when I started the podcast, it was an independent project and I know how to edit and do things, but I just I was doing it by myself to let go and to allow people to help you. That brings me peace. But I still don’t know how to do that completely. But it is very peaceful when it happens. And then we have magical evenings like this.
Thor Harris I think animals I live with five dogs and six cats and they bring me a lot of peace. They’re just such great teachers. They don’t seem to be dwelling too much on the future. The past. They’re really great Buddhists, and I’m not a good one. I’m not an actual Buddhist. But if I was, I’d be a lousy one. You know, anything and nature. Like walking around in these. This live oak forest is like food. Food for my soul and. Yeah. And, you know, of course I like connecting with people I sometimes forget, but I often say community is everything. Yeah, for sure. Those are the things, the three big ones that keep me peace. Nature, animals and community. Community.
Laurie Gallardo I was just curious. Does darkness require mindfulness? It has for me. But to again, mindfulness for myself at least, has been a tool for learning that is a learning tool for me. I appreciate things that are considered dark or not happy or, you know, I use the little quotation marks. But mindfulness, I connect that to empathy. I connect that to awareness. I connect that to letting others in. And when I say letting others in again, that’s where I start tapping on the brakes. Because again, being with that vulnerability, you should see me. It’s like a cat being dipped in water and the cat’s going, you know, No, I don’t. I think that that may play a big part in many cases. And again, it goes back to what you define as dark, what we consider to be cool or fascinating or even strangely uplifting. That may be dark to someone else. But mindfulness, that’s a learning tool, and I’m excited about that sensitivity. I connect to mindfulness.
Thor Harris Yeah, I think like people have been using the word mind fullness a lot with Buddhist thought, and I think that many of the central tenets of Buddhism are, yes, life is loss and and it’s painful and it’s suffering. But we’re in this beautiful live oak forest this evening among friends. And so I think that mindfulness certainly leads to becoming well acquainted with the darkness and the light. I mean, the contrast is where the real beauty is right now.
Laurie Gallardo There’s a quote that I often well, that I always share at the end of every episode. And it’s actually it’s strangely a Bible quote. We search for the light, but behold the darkness. And that’s what I thought of with what you just said right now. Thank you so much for that question. Yeah.
Thor Harris Thank you.
Laurie Gallardo I love that one. Honestly, we could have stayed and chatted with our lovely, wonderful audience for hours. Thank you to everyone who came out to our first ever live taping of the podcast. And thanks again to the crew at Laguna Gloria, to our sound engineer, Jake Perlman, to Elizabeth McQueen for serving as our emcee and to our lovely guest, Thor Harris. Your vampire sunscreen host and creator is me, Laurie Gordon. Editing and Mixing by Jack Anderson. Original music composed by Rene Chavez, Graphic Design by Dave McClinton. And many thanks as always to our fearless podcast leader Elizabeth McQueen for all her help. SPF 1000 Vampire Sunscreen is a listener supported production of cute and cute studios in Austin, Texas. And if you like what you’re hearing, you can support our work by becoming a sustaining member at Support this podcast, Dawg. Thanks again for listening and for your support. Please make sure to leave us a rating or review wherever you listen to vampires, sunscreen and something I always keep in mind. We search for the light, but behold the darkness. Until next time.
This transcript was transcribed by AI, and lightly edited by a human. Accuracy may vary. This text may be revised in the future.