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Seven years ago, Fabiana Meléndez Ruiz fell in love with pole dancing as a form of exercise and self-expression. Now she’s at the pole studio four days a week.
The full transcript of this episode of KUT News Now is available on the KUT & KUTX Studio website. The transcript is also available as subtitles or captions on some podcast apps.
This My Thing: Pole Dancing!
Show intro and theme
Michael Lee [00:00:10] I’m Michael Lee and you’re listening to This is My Thing. You’re probably listening to it as a part of the KUT News Now podcast feed. It always brings me great joy to remind you that while we are part of the KUT News Now podcast feed, this show is not at all about the news. And this is my thing. We talk to people about the things they do just for themselves. It is not a job and it is not a responsibility. It’s just a thing that brings them joy or feeds their soul. This week, pole dancing! My guest today is Fabiana Melendez Ruiz, who discovered pole dancing as a form of self-expression and exercise about seven years ago and now spends four days a week at the pole studio.
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:00:53] I’m Fabiana Melendez Ruiz, and pole dancing is my thing.
Fabiana [in the pole studio] So I’ve just put on my shoes, which is not necessarily mandatory once you are in class, most people like you learn everything barefoot, but the shoes do serve a purpose, and that’s they are dance shoes. So they have suede in inside. So like, the more you sweat, the more they stick to your foot and also you climb less because you’re already so tall. And for certain tricks, if you don’t have the flexibility, you can cheat it because they’re so tall that you can you can grab the heel. So these are eight inchers. Without the shoes, I’m five four. And with the shoes, I’m about six feet.
Michael Lee [00:01:32] Where did this start for you?
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:01:34] Yes. So growing up, I did a variety of dance and or gymnastics. And the thing about those hobbies is that they’re incredibly expensive. So my parents couldn’t continue basically paying for those hobbies in my teens. And then there was, you know, a very contentious divorce. You don’t have to get into that. But that, of course, contributed to that to the Financial factor. But I always loved dancing and in a lot of ways performing. I think personality wise, people would say, I’ve always been a ham just as a person. So as an adult, I was in college and I was looking for a hobby. I would, you know, I would jog and I would go to the gym like Austin things, things you do. And I wanted to tumble, but there were no at the time there were no adult tumbling gems. That has since changed. And a friend of mine suggested I tried aerials and at first I was like, I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m like a circus person. And I tried it and I loved it. And that’s where it started. And it encompasses all of these things, right? Dance, calisthenics, some sort of gymnastics things. And of course, there’s a performance aspect, once you get to that point.
Fabiana [in the pole studio] A lot of people ask how we stay on the pole. And part of it is practice. Like you learn to train your grip the way someone would if they were rock climbing. And we also have grip aids like chalk and beeswax. There’s so many. There’s sprays, there’s tacks, there’s talks like actual chalks, there’s liquid chalks…
Michael Lee [00:03:12] It might be a good idea to kind of define what we’re talking about. I think that there are probably a lot of people who would just hear the phrase pole dancing and maybe have an image in mind that that is or is not accurate to what you do and what pole dancing is for you.
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:03:25] Absolutely. So pole dancing and the way that I practice it is as a hobbyist and people may not know, but there are studios just how there are dance studios for ballet and tap and all of these things. There are pole studios and aerial gyms. I think when people think of pole dancing, they traditionally think of strip clubs. And I do think it’s important to mention the roots of pole dancing, because even though I’m a hobbyist, I am an advocate for sex, work, allyship, because that’s where the root is. And I think our hobbies, we don’t think about our hobbies coming at a cost to someone. And I think in order for us hobbyists to practice that in the way that we do in a lot of ways, you larp strippers, right? Because you wear the heels and you wear the outfits. And so for me, you know, I think remembering the history and where it came from is really important because we do the sport because of dancers in clubs. Like you learn a lot of choreography and tricks that were created by dancers in clubs.
Fabiana [in the pole studio] I’m going to do a fireman, which is the classic spin, and it sets up your climb. The top hand is the one that pulls, and the bottom hem is the one that pushes. And the bottom hand, I would argue, is the most important because if you don’t push out, you will stand your crotch against the pole and the pole win every time. It’s all kinetic energy. By the way, I got to C in physics and I messaged my high school physics teacher and I was like, Hey, physics started making sense the minute I started pole dancing because I finally understood it conceptually in application.
Michael Lee [00:05:14] So what was it about… about the pole in particular that kind of attracted you, as opposed to like — if we’re talking about aerials, there’s silks and there’s lyra. There’s lots of different things you can do.
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:05:23] Yes, I think it’s an apparatus I could wrap my head around more than silks or lyra. For example, I think the the entry, there’s less of a barrier to entry to pole. And you’ll see that a lot of aerialists who who handle multiple apparatus, many more start with pole. And that’s kind of the gateway drug into into everything else.
Michael Lee [00:05:51] Well it’s certainly it’s probably the piece of equipment that’s the easiest to put into your home.
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:05:56] Correct. Yes. So I have a home pole and you can buy a tent. It’s tension mounted. You don’t have to drill it. Although if you can do it, that is safer and preferable because right now when we’re filming, it’s raining in Austin and you’re in houses expand and contract when weather changes. And so if you have a pressure mounted pole that could be a risk like that. It’ll pop pop out while you’re doing something. But yeah, it’s a much easier thing to install. I have a Lear on and an aerial hammock at home now or an aerial sling. So obviously they got me and that big area, big aerial got me. And for those we had to get like X mounts and it was like a whole thing and it had to be on like a certain stud. So, yeah, pole’s more attainable.
Fabiana [in the pole studio] The number one deterrent is the strength. Like people tell me they want to try it, but they’re so scared because they don’t believe they’re strong enough. And I told them, it’s like bodybuilding. You have to start with the low weights before you get to the the heavier weights. If you join a beginner class, they’re not going to have you do what I just did, which was, for the listeners, the one handed handstand because there’s no, you know, like the we know you can’t do them. That’s okay. I also think it’s like human folly where a lot of people are like, I don’t want you all to know the things I’m not good at. And it’s like, Babe, we know you can’t do pole because this is your first class. It’s not a secret and it’s okay to be, but it’s okay to be bad at things because that’s how you get better.
Michael Lee [00:07:32] Were you expecting… did you know about, like, the gear that you would end up wanting or needing when you started into this?
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:07:38] No, I started my gosh. The first class I went to, I wore leggings. Big mistake, because you need skin grip to grip. And I think this is another point of contention. And I see this on Instagram and I’ve seen it on Reddit, where people who aren’t familiar with the world or this community are like, why can’t these women wear clothes? Well, we wouldn’t be able to do it. You know, we wouldn’t be able to grip.
Michael Lee [00:08:07] So if you’re wearing like a pair of chinos in some keds, it wouldn’t be as easy?
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:08:11] …to do that! There’s no way! I was wearing… unless you got a silicone pole. But that’s a whole other, a whole other monster. I was in leggings. I wore a sweater. I think it was fall. I was in, like, what I would wear to the gym. And thankfully, when you first learn, it’s not like you’re climbing or anything. But even doing spins with no grip was so difficult. And yes, the joke is the more you progress, the more naked you get and the higher your shoes get, because that’s just the way it goes, right? And then, yeah, I didn’t anticipate needing chalk. I didn’t anticipate needing grip. I didn’t anticipate that I would. My shoe addiction. I already have a lot of shoes in general, right? Like for my everyday life. But I didn’t anticipate that I would also be an avid collector of stripper heels. And then don’t even get me started on like the bikinis and the outfits, because this is a sport where people dress up for class. Like this is a group class and people are dressed to the nines to go practice.
Fabiana [in the pole studio] Because the shoes and the esthetic is a strip club esthetic. I think it opens it up for scrutiny. Are people not taking it seriously? And so they think, well, the shoes are just so you can look hot, which first of all, what’s the problem with that? Right. Like if I you know, if I’m doing these difficult feats of strength, why can’t I also like the way I look in them and at the same time, like they are a dance shoe. Like the purpose is to support you while you dance. And there’s some tricks that are fully shoe dependent, like you could not be able to do the trick without the heel. Probably.
Michael Lee [00:09:56] How long into taking classes did you realize that you were going to be in it for the long haul?
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:10:02] Probably about a month. Then I had to build callouses in my hands, which is the worst thing, one of the worst things ever. I don’t think people tell you that callous building is so painful because first you get blisters and then they tear and then they form calluses. Sorry, I know this is very body horror. We’ve reached the substance level of body horror now. And the fact that I was willing to literally bleed out every time I wasn’t going to class because I wanted to land a trick so badly, so very badly that I was willing to bleed for it. That’s love.
Michael Lee [00:10:41] And how long ago was that?
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:10:42] Seven years ago.
Michael Lee [00:10:43] Okay. Seven years. So, yeah, you. You’re in it.
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:10:46] Yeah. And I’ve done. I’ve run the gamut of the things I’ve performed. I taught for a little bit. I teach privates. I have a home studio in Kyle, so I teach there because there’s no studio that far south. But yeah, I mean, I’ve done all the things. The only thing I haven’t done is campy and that’s just like a personal thing for me because I think I recognize that competition being someone who grew up dancing and also like academically competitive puts me in a weird headspace. I’m not competitive with other people. I’m very self competitive. So it’s like if I meet a goal, I must exceed what I did and that’s just not healthy. Like we’re about to turn 30. We don’t need to do that.
Michael Lee [00:11:29] Are you afraid that if you did turn this into a competitive thing for you, that that would sort of overtake the fun part of it?
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:11:37] Totally.
Michael Lee [00:11:37] And then it’s become a stressful thing in your life.
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:11:39] Yes. And you know, again, this is a personality thing, but I’m a person who gives 110% to everything. So my career, my, you know, my marriage, my friendships, I care if I care about something, I care very deeply. And I recognize that when you have that type of personality, it can be really beneficial for some things, but it can be an Achilles in other ways. And that is, I stress myself out and it gives me a lot of anxiety and and it’s just a thing, right? And so part of the reason pole dancing is so important to me is it’s a way it forces me out of that. Like it forces me out of this competitive space because I really am doing it for myself. It is one of the few things I do for me to learn and to grow and to really meditate on life. And I’m not doing it for anything else. And I think the minute I say, okay, I’m going to compete, that the house of cards will fall.
Fabiana [in the pole studio] I polefour days a week for three hours a day. Wow. Yes, I, I like it. I’m very dedicated. And I’m also a bit of a masochist. I enjoy it. I didn’t consider myself an athlete until I enjoyed my rotator cuff recently. And I saw a doctor and I told them how much I was dancing. And they’re like, What are you training for? And I’m like, What do you mean? And they’re like, You are training in the level of an athlete. And I had never thought about that because I’m having so much fun and I’m in heels, so I’m like, I don’t know, I’m doing this because it brings me joy. And he’s like, You’re training like someone who’s like, competing.
Michael Lee [00:13:18] You have performed for people, but in a noncompetitive setting.
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:13:21] In a noncompetitive setting.
Michael Lee [00:13:22] Tell me what that is like.
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:13:23] Performing is so fun performing as one of you enjoy if you want to do it. I know there there are people with stage fright. I think that’s very valid. But I do think, you know, I’ve I’ve met people that have stage fright and they do it anyway because they’re so passionate about it and they kind of that’s like their big bucket list item is I just want to perform. I think performing is really interesting. And, you know, this is a personal thing. I know that there are people who become very vulnerable on stage. I think for me, it’s the opposite. It’s almost like I want you to see what I want you to see and I want you to get out of it, what I want you to get out of it. And I think for me, again, like I was socialized a woman I identify as a woman. So I think that I came to this realization later on in life that I don’t think my body has ever belonged to me. So I think performing is the one time where I think it’s really my own and I have a say on how I want to be looked like, how I want to be desired. I want to be coveted, what I want people to get out of it. So I think it’s I enjoy because it’s a little less vulnerable for me.
Michael Lee [00:14:29] Is this something that you think you’ll keep doing for the rest of your life?
Fabiana Melendez Ruiz [00:14:32] Probably. And there are poor dancers that have started in their 70s and they compete and they’re in their 80s now and they’re competing. There are pull dancers that do it, get pregnant and still do it while pregnant. So I love that it is a sport that I can continue doing no matter what, what my body does as it ages. So I think I’ll do it. You know, I told my husband if I pass away – this is so morbid, but you know how they do like open casket showings or whatever? I’m like, I would like to be on a pole for my show and everyone’s just going to have to deal with that.
Michael Lee [00:15:15] Thanks for listening to This is My Thing. I’m Michael Lee and I produce the show. Special thanks, of course, to Fabiana Melendez Ruiz for sharing her love of pole dancing with us. If you haven’t seen them already, you can see some photos of Fabiana in the pole studio on our show page at KUT dot org. We’ve got more This is My Thing coming soon. We’re working on stories about a light saber choreographer, a ceramicist, and a bunch of other interesting people that we haven’t had time to interview yet. But we will! Keep listening to hear those stories and more. If you’d like to tell us about your thing and maybe be a part of a future episode of the show, that’s pretty easy. Just go to the This Is My Thing show page at KUT.org. You’ll find a form on that page to let you tell us about your thing. And you can also listen to a whole bunch of past episodes of the show. And if you get in the mood to fill out some more forms while on KUT.org, there’s one pretty good one on there that lets you become a member of the station. Our members make this and everything we do possible.
This transcript was transcribed by AI, and lightly edited by a human. Accuracy may vary. This text may be revised in the future.
