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March 10, 2019

Higher Ed: Trust And Communication Can Help “Helicopter” Parents Land Safely

By: Jennifer Stayton

The idea of “helicopter” parenting may not have a formal definition. But we all have a pretty good sense of it when we encounter it – those parents who seem to control and hover too closely over many aspects of their children’s lives, often to the detriment (and sometimes embarrassment) of those children. In this episode of the KUT podcast “Higher Ed,” Southwestern University President Dr. Ed Burger and KUT’s Jennifer Stayton take a discussion about helicopter parenting to a live audience of – yes – parents and students at Southwestern.

First of all, Ed believes a couple of things about “helicopter” parenting: it has always been around, perhaps exacerbated in more recent times by the abundance and reach of personal technology. And, it can come from a place of wanting what is best for children. But that concept of what is best for children, and how to achieve it, can be a sticking point.

“I think the question is: ‘what’s the definition of what’s best?’,” says Ed. “And if you take away all the independence and agency, are you really helping, or in some sense are you manufacturing a problem for the future?”

So how can parents back off from such close monitoring but still help their children learn and develop skills to maneuver through life? Ed believes setting an environment of trust and open communication will go a long way.

So will helping children establish realistic expectations about life before they head out on their own.

“Life is really a roller coaster, but certainly one’s undergraduate formal career is honestly a roller coaster of that sort,” says Ed. “You get to these peaks which are really exciting and you’re really happy and you want to stay there forever…. And then all of a sudden, you go way down and something awful happens… Instead of thinking about that as a down moment, I think we need to realize that life…. is a roller coaster. So those peaks and valleys are going to happen. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when…. It’s the  downturns where the real learning can happen.”

Listen to the full episode to hear more of the discussion with some college parents about easing off of helicopter parenting. And hear some answers to a provocative question for the future: what might happen when a generation of children with hovering parents become parents themselves?

No puzzler this week. It took off early for Spring Break but will be back in a few weeks!

This episode was recorded on Feb. 23, 2019.


Episodes

December 15, 2019

Higher Ed: Holding On Tight Is Easier Than Letting Go. Why We Need To Learn How To Do Both Well.

As Dr. Ed Burger prepares to leave Southwestern University to become President and Chief Executive Officer of St. David’s Foundation in Austin, Texas, he and KUT’s Jennifer Stayton discuss the art of letting go, as they wrap up the KUT podcast “Higher Ed.” Ed says “letting go” in the workplace starts with a pretty straightforward […]

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December 8, 2019

Higher Ed: Learning From Failure (And Then Letting It Go)

In the very first episode of KUT’s podcast “Higher Ed,” Southwestern University President Dr. Ed Burger and KUT’s Jennifer Stayton talked about the importance of failure to learning. Has any thinking changed about that concept in the past five years? Ed says he has greater clarity now than he had five years ago about one […]

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November 24, 2019

Higher Ed: Be Grateful For The Frustration That Can Come With Learning. You’ll Learn From That, Too.

“Thank you” may not always be the words that come to mind when struggling through a difficult lesson or dealing with a mountain of homework in school. But in this episode of KUT’s podcast “Higher Ed,” Southwestern University President Dr. Ed Burger and KUT’s Jennifer Stayton discuss the role that gratitude can play in learning […]

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November 17, 2019

Higher Ed: Really Good At Something In School Or Work? Beware Of The “Success Trap”

Who does not appreciate making high grades in a certain subject or getting glowing performance reviews at work?  In this episode of KUT’s podcast “Higher Ed,” Southwestern University President Dr. Ed Burger and KUT’s Jennifer Stayton explore the lure of the “success trap” and how to avoid it. What exactly is the “success trap?” It […]

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November 10, 2019

Higher Ed: Want An Exciting Life? Ask This Question At Graduation (Or Anytime, Really)

Most of us have the best of intentions when we graduate from high school or college to make our way in the world and lead meaningful and productive lives. But the minutiae of everyday life can eat into our plans to exist outside our comfort zone. In this episode of KUT’s podcast “Higher Ed,” Southwestern […]

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November 3, 2019

Higher Ed: The Key To Dissipating Regret? Use It To Spur Action And Change

A podcast listener wrote in asking for guidance about how to handle the regret she feels over the choices she made in college.  In this episode of KUT’s podcast “Higher Ed,” Southwestern University President Dr. Ed Burger and KUT’s Jennifer Stayton examine regret and the ways in which it can actually inspire positive change. A […]

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October 27, 2019

Higher Ed: Letting Go Of The “Noise” To Prioritize Better In School And Life

Most people – students included – have a long to-do list but are short on ideas for how to tackle it. In this episode of KUT’s podcast “Higher Ed,” Southwestern University President Dr. Ed Burger and KUT’s Jennifer Stayton discuss strategies for deciding what should top the list. Ed suggests that removing things from the […]

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October 20, 2019

Higher Ed: How To Keep Tired Students Engaged? Help Them Produce – Not Just Consume – Knowledge

Students have a lot of tugging at their energy and attention including classes, homework, jobs and activities. In this episode of KUT’s podcast “Higher Ed,” Southwestern University President Dr. Ed Burger and KUT’s Jennifer Stayton strategize on how to keep exhausted students engaged in the classroom. Ed received an email from a “Higher Ed” podcast […]

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