humor

Texas is God’s Country

“Everything’s bigger in Texas” may be one of the most famous sayings about Texas. “Don’t mess with Texas” probably comes in a close second.

Texas Standard commentator WF Strong has been looking into another well-known saying about Texas.

Texas Spelling Bee

Are there words that just trip you up every time you try to spell them? For the producer writing this script it’s allegience — allegiance — so many vowels. You know it’s bad when Word or Google can’t even make a guess at what you’re going for.

Texas Standard commentator WF Strong explores the most oft-misspelled words in Texas.

Still Wearing Pajama Pants

The pandemic impacted many parts of many of our lives. For some, that included what we wear. This Typewriter Rodeo poem celebrates one change that the poet is embracing as permanent.

Farmer Logic

If you’ve spent any time around farmers — you may have noticed a similar, pragmatic approach to life many share. Texas Standard Commentator WF Strong says it’s something he’s long observed.

Puns

Some make you laugh out loud. Others make you roll your eyes. This punny poem comes by request from a Texas Standard listener.

Hang in there

The holiday season is behind us but the weather still tends to be a little cold and gloomy. The pace of projects and demands seems non-stop and any promise of a break seems very far away. Don’t we all need just a little bit of levity? That was the inspiration behind this Typewriter Rodeo poem.

Eating Halloween Candy – Still

Did you gorge yourself over several days? Or were you patient? Are you still picking your way through what was collected that final night of October? That was the inspiration for this Typewriter Rodeo poem.

Good News

The news has been heavy for a long time — full of stories of suffering and loss. It’s natural and healthy to want to take a break. But sometimes finding the good can feel difficult. That was the inspiration of this Typewriter Rodeo poem.

Leaving (Maybe) on a Jet Plane

It’s summertime and the travel season has returned with intensity. Flights are packed and lines are long — and delays and cancelations are likely for a multitude of reasons. That was the inspiration for this Typewriter Rodeo poem.

Grackle

Some embrace them as the unofficial mascots of Texas cities — looking at you, Austin. But others are put off by their scavenger natures. The grackle inspired this Typewriter Rodeo poem.

An Edit Button on Twitter

It’s not the biggest thing in the world. It may be the smallest — a misplaced letter, forgotten punctuation, clumsy thumbs. But it can obscure your message, change its meaning entirely, or just make you feel a little silly. That was the inspiration for this Typewriter Rodeo poem.

What happened to Toadsuck, Texas?

Texas has had perhaps more than its share of unusual names of cities and towns. Cut and Shoot – Dime Box – Bug Tussle. But perhaps the strangest was Toadsuck, Texas. You won’t find it on a map today because it eventually became Collinsville in western Grayson County. But for a relatively brief and shining historical period, Toadsuck was a real Texas town. Texas Standard commentator WF Strong has the story of how it got that strange name.

Belated Eggs

The Easter holiday has come and gone. But do you ever wonder if all those hidden eggs have really been found? Shelf-stable candy might not be a huge cause for concern. But those real eggs… That was the inspiration for this Typewriter Rodeo poem.

Wordle For Texas

By this time, you’ve no doubt seen or heard of the game Wordle. The daily puzzle game with the yellow and green boxes has become part of the morning routine for millions of people around the world. To coin a word too long for the puzzle — it’s become a wordemic.

LBJ’s Humor

When most people think of Lyndon Johnson they don’t envision a man with a great sense of humor. He was in power in turbulent times.

When I see his face in my mind I see a man who was troubled, an unsmiling man with furrows in his brow accentuating unrelenting worries. Yet even in those dark moments his humor would surface unexpectedly and lighten his mood. He once said “When the burdens of the presidency seem unusually heavy, I always remind myself it could be worse. I could be a mayor.”

He also said, facetiously,  “There are no favorites in my office. I treat everyone with the same general inconsideration.”

Though he didn’t have the public eloquence of Kennedy or King, he was interpersonally charismatic. He was a wonderful storyteller. Last week, I had the pleasure, and the honor I might add, of speaking with Doris Kearns Goodwin for about 30 minutes. As you may know, she worked closely with LBJ for 7 years, and because of her professional relationship with him, out of all the biographies about him, I would argue that hers is the most humanizing. No writer knew him better.

Dr. Goodwin told me that LBJ was a fantastic storyteller and she never tired of listening to him, though eventually she came to realize that his stories were not all completely true. He might have used my tag line.  Some of his stories were apocryphal. Goodwin told me that, like Lincoln, LBJ used stories to animate his points, to skewer his adversaries, or simply to amuse and entertain folks.

He learned his storytelling, she said, from his father and grandfather. He listened at night as they talked politics on the porch with local power brokers. That became LBJ’s unique power, too: interpersonal persuasion. He could read people and package an argument, often in story form, so that it was uniquely positioned for them.

Let me share a couple of LBJ stories that my father, a great admirer of LBJ, shared with me long ago.

LBJ liked to refer to Barry Goldwater and Nelson Rockefeller as Barry and Rocky. He said: “I understand that Barry and Rocky, in running for the GOP nomination, are both cutting way back on their visits to California. Reminds me of a case in Texas where a man wanted to run for Sheriff against an unpopular incumbent named Uncle Johnny.  Man asked his friend Dave if he thought he had a chance. Dave said, ‘Well, I guess it depends on who meets the most people.’ ‘Yeah, that’s what I was thinking,’ said the man. Dave explained further, ‘If he meets the most people you’ll win and if you meet the most people he’ll win.’ That’s the situation Barry and Rocky find themselves in.”

One last one is about a “boy in Texas who was very poor and tired of seeing his mama struggling so much to feed her family. So he sent a letter to God asking for 100 dollars for his mama. The letter got forwarded eventually to the postmaster general in Washington D.C. He took pity on the boy and put 20 dollars in an envelope and mailed it to him. Two weeks later, the postmaster got a letter back from the boy that said, “Dear God, thank you for sending the money, but next time don’t send it through Washington cuz they took 80% of it.”

Doris Kearns Goodwin said that it was LBJ’s time teaching in Cotulla that inspired and shaped his vision for the Great Society. She’s happy to see that LBJ is getting long deserved credit now for the progressive laws and policies he passed in his time, like Medicaid and Medicare, and the Voting Rights Act, as well as the institutions he helped to found, like NASA and Public Broadcasting. She just wishes he was still around to see it. He would certainly smile.

Out of Office Email Responder

It’s the time of year for time off. And, for anyone trying to get in touch with someone else, it’s the time of year for automatic replies. That was the inspiration for this Typewriter Rodeo poem.

Texas Navigator App

On Google Maps you can get navigator voices in English with either an American, British, Indian, or Canadian accent. Commentator W.F. Strong thinks they should offer a Texas navigator accent – one that also offers Texas expressions and colloquialisms.

The Texas Olympics

The Olympics — as we were all just reminded — are a fantastic display of athleticism of all sorts. For many of us, watching the games is a reminder of just how we could never do that thing that we’re watching other people do.

But watching got commentator W-F Strong thinking there’s quite a lot Texans seem to be pretty good at. And he thinks maybe there should be a competition that would be open to all while taking advantage of our state’s unique geography.

Unfortunate Discovery

For some people, it’s snakes. For others, it’s spiders. In Texas, we have both — in large sizes and quantities. Consider the tarantula. Yes, it’s harmless. But try telling that to some! That was the inspiration of this Typewriter Rodeo poem.