Did you gorge yourself over several days? Or were you patient? Are you still picking your way through what was collected that final night of October? That was the inspiration for this Typewriter Rodeo poem.
Parenting
A Toddler’s Nightmares
Bath time, teeth brushing, stories, songs. The little one seems all settled — and then — a scream, a call, a cry. What could possibly be the matter? That was the inspiration of this Typewriter Rodeo poem.
New Life
With everything going on in the world, the simplest and yet most miraculous thing is also still happening: new life is joining us. This Typewriter Rodeo poem was requested by a Texas Standard listener.
Texas Standard: July 20, 2020
Facing pushback from educators, parents and health officials the Texas Education Agency rolls back its initial orders for in person classes in the fall. Also, how parents in Texas’ largest metro area are trying to juggle mixed messages over a back to school plans in the fall. And new research in Texas showing promise for those suffering from COVID-19. Also, a new study on the connection between natural gas flaring and premature births. Those stories and more today on the Texas Standard:
The Modern Tall Tales Texans Tell Kids
We Texans have long had a reputation for tall tales, for stretching the truth in entertaining ways. I wondered to what extent this cultural DNA has survived. So I asked this question of Texans on Facebook: What is the most outrageous white lie you ever told your kids? I got several hundred responses and chose these as the best among them.
Cynthia told her kids: “Oh. The smoke detector is a Santa camcorder. How do ya think Santa knows if you are naughty or nice?”
Jim said that his uncle taught them that windmills were cow fans. Kept all those cows cool in the hot months.
Many wrote that they told their kids, “The ice cream truck turned on the music to signal that it was out of ice cream.” This bum steer was so popular as a submission that it no doubt rates as an urban legend for kids.
Tammy said that as she passed the cotton fields on the way to Port Arthur she would say to her northern-raised grandson: “See, we grow our snow here.”
And from Rose we have this: “To get my boys to let me trim their nails we would plant them in the window box and watch them grow.” Rose actually planted one bean for each. Very clever Rose.
Tammy P. said, “I had my kids convinced that I could see through walls because all moms had superpowers.”
Rhonda had a great one that she told her children. “Sorry kids, you can only go to Chuck E. Cheese if you’ve been invited to a birthday party.” Evidently a company rule.
David had his youngest daughter convinced he could see through walls. He told her to run to any part of the house and he’d tell her where she was. Dave just had to listen to her footsteps and never missed. His daughter was blown away by his omnipotence.
Leah told her kids she was a retired ninja. She had an impressive large necklace that looked like an award and so that was her secret ninja badge. Unfortunately her ninja suit was always at the cleaners.
Kris would tell his kids Twilight Zone stories as though they happened to him. It was part of his autobiography.
I love this from Samantha: “When you go through the drive-thru they give you car fries and house fries.” So once the kids had had a few fries, she’d say, “Sorry, that’s all the car fries they gave us. Have to wait now until we get home.”
Glynda said her kid wanted to ride the elephant at the circus and she said, “You need an elephant riding license for that. Unfortunately, we don’t have one.”
And we have this about a fish tank where all the fish died. Kristi recalls, “Well, we were cleaning the tank and its contents, and preparing the water for new fish while we waited for pay day so we could buy more. The kids were disappointed when they came home from school and there were no fish. So I convinced them that we had bought ‘crystal’ fish that are crystal clear. I told them if you watch real close you’ll see the reflection of the lights on their scales occasionally as they swim by. Entertained them for days.”
Karen M. has the tallest tale I think, if not the most devious. She said, “My youngest refused to eat meat (or any protein) as a child. From 3 to about 12, my kids believed I would take them to the doctor for a ‘meat shot’ if their protein wasn’t eaten. I showed them the meat shot injector, my turkey baster.”
So, like I said, I’m glad to see we Texans have not lost our talent for tall tales. Edward “Tex” O’Reilly, creator of Pecos Bill, would be proud of us.
Texas Standard: March 14, 2019
The 15th democrat and the second Texan has made it official: he’s running for President. But do the numbers add up for Beto ‘O Rourke? We’ll have more on the announcement by a former congressman from El Paso who wants to take on Donald Trump for President. Also, in conservative Midland, a test for the Castle Doctrine following the shooting death of a policeman. And the east Texas mayor who’s banning the STAAR test, and hoping other mayors will follow suit. It looks like some just might. Plus Omar Gallaga with the tech buzz from SXSW, and a whole lot more today on the Texas Standard:
Texas Standard: February 19, 2018
The University of Texas and the Texas Tribune team up to tell us which politicians are ahead on the polls, we’ll have the latest. Also, is OPEC bringing in more members to better control oil prices? We’ll Explore the role of Historically Black Colleges and speak to the film-maker. Plus comfort food has a whole other meaning to families in poverty, we tell you why. And the art of Arturo Torres is putting Garland on the map, we’ll explain. Also, it’s president’s Day! And early voting starts tomorrow, be sure to Wear your red white and blue all week! Those stories and more today on the Texas Standard:
Texas Standard: August 1, 2017
It’s been one year since students with concealed handgun permits have been allowed to bring weapons on campus. We’ll explore what’s happened since. Plus, what skipping to the front of the security line at Texas airports might cost you in privacy. Also, a glimpse inside the personal notes and snapshots belonging to playwright and actor Sam Shepard. And, how hard is to change a birth certificate in Texas? Those stories and lots more today on the Texas Standard:
Texas Standard: December 18, 2016
The last word on the election of a new president? In Texas, it comes down to a vote at the Capitol today. We’ll explore the rules for college discipline. Plus Miguel Navarro was just 15 years old when he followed his older brother to a party, a party he never should’ve gone to in the first place. And before he or anyone else could realize what was happening, everything wen’t horribly wrong. Miguel’s story, and what it tells us about kids and the criminal justice system in Texas. An exclusive investigation by the Texas Standard. Also, it’s bigger than Corpus Christi: a warning about water systems across Texas, and the high price of doing nothing to fix them. All that and more today on the Texas Standard:
Parenting Adult Children
Figuring out how the nature of relationships changes over time can be tough, especially for kids and their parents.
In this edition of Two Guys on Your Head, Dr. Bob Duke and Dr. Art Markman talk about the challenges of parenting your kids as they transition into adulthood, and what to do to make this easier and mutually beneficial.
Ylanda Gault Caviness, pt. 2 (Ep. 28, 2015)
In Black America host John L. Hanson, Jr. concludes a conversation with Ylonda Gault Caviness, parenting journalist and editor, mother of three, and author of “Child, Please: How Mama’s Old-School Lessons Helped Me Check Myself Before I Wrecked Myself.”
Ylanda Gault Caviness, pt. 1 (Ep. 27, 2015)
In Black America host John L. Hanson, Jr. speaks with Ylonda Gault Caviness, parenting journalist and editor, mother of three, and author of “Child, Please: How Mama’s Old-School Lessons Helped Me Check Myself Before I Wrecked Myself.”