Valentine

My Valentine

Love, of course, can come in many forms. Texas Standard commentator WF Strong has found a lot of love in his life, including in his two teenage boys. He recalls a certain newer relationship that he says came as a bit of a surprise. This story first aired in 2018.

Typewriter Rodeo: Love

It feels like there may not be a whole lot new to say about love in poetry. But perhaps that’s exactly why humans can’t stop writing about it? Texas Standard listener Michael Abild requested this poem about “the creative and sustaining nature of love.”

Valentine’s Day (COVID Style)

The pandemic has affected the way we celebrate events and holidays. This Typewriter Rodeo poem imagines what might be possible if the limitations of COVID-19 were not in the way.

Love Letter to Scarlett

Two years ago I introduced you to my then 3-year-old daughter, Scarlett. My Valentine.

She was a late arrival in my life and particularly special because I grew up with all boys and had only boys, until she came along. She’s introduced me, for the first time, to the wonderful world of little girls.

Scarlett’s now 5 and I’m 65. She likes the symmetry of that. She tells perfect strangers, at random, “I’m five and he’s 65.”

I’ve taken to telling her that she’s my favorite 5-year-old daughter. She caught on recently and said, “You’re my favorite 65-year-old father.” The tables have turned.

As with all five-year-olds, her humor is maturing. She tells me jokes: “What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.” She was tutored by Alexa, no doubt.

She’s accidentally funny, too. She asked, “Dada, you go to the university and they just give you money for talking all the time?” Yes. Fairly accurate, actually.

She also asks those Einsteinian questions: “Dada, what would happen if there was no friction in the whole world?” We’d have a happier planet?

Here’s another tough one about grammar: “If mouses are mice how come rats aren’t rice?” “I don’t know,” I tell her. “Go ask your mother.”

That’s my default response for her toughest questions. When she got in the back of our closet and asked, “How do you have Santa’s wrapping paper in your closet?” I said, again, “Ask your mother.”

Sometimes she surprises me with her spontaneous observations. She says, “Did you know that if I put gobs of your shaving cream into slime it makes it slimier?” No, but that’s handy information.

She surprised me also when she asked if I got a splinter when I fell down the steps and broke my leg. I said “no.” She said, “That’s good because those splinters really hurt.”

Like all children her age, she has beautiful daydreams: “Dada, why don’t you get a bicycle with two seats? You can pedal up front and I’ll sit in the back and rest and listen to the birds.”

In her room she has an imaginary restaurant that often has imaginary shortages. I’ll order ice cream and she’ll say, “Oh, sorry, the ice cream machine is broken right now.” Just like real world restaurants.

She’s not so good at keeping secrets. Her mother returned home from Christmas shopping and Scarlett said, immediately, “I helped dada wrap your present. It’s a purple sweater from Dillard’s.”

It reminded me of when she said: “I’m going to give you a surprise birthday party, but don’t tell mama.” I think she forgot who she was not supposed to tell.

It’s been a great year watching her grow up. I told her when she turns 6 we could have her birthday party at Chucky Cheese and she said no. “Chucky Cheese is for little kids. Peter Piper is for big kids.” She already has a keen understanding of demographics.

She’s sadly had to grow in other ways, too. I told her to put her bike away because someone might steal it. “What is steal?” she asked. I hated to bring that concept into her idyllic world.

Mail came for her for the first time. She had never received mail, ever. I asked people to send her letters. She got 15 in one day and this is how she responded. She grabbed all the letters, and with a delightful scream, she ran from the mailbox to the front door saying, “I CAN’T BELIEVE ITTTTTT!!!!” I think she was happy.

Scarlett has been in a romantic mood these last months. She wants her mama and me to get married again so she can be a flower girl in a violet dress. She’s been drawing pictures of how she sees the ceremony with her front and center, directing things. I like that she even gives us advice for a good marriage. She says, “Mama, dada is your husband, and dada, mama is your life.” My life – liked that advice a lot. You’re right Scarlett, mama is my life. And so are you, darlin.’ Happy Valentine’s Day.

Texas Standard: February 12, 2020

Iowa? Check. New Hampshire? Check. Brace yourself for Super Tuesday where Texas is sure to shine, we’ll have all the details. Also Food safety, food labels, small producers and big producers. A roundtable with the U.S. Department of Agriculture. And what’s the meaning of a warrant forgiveness? We’ll explore. Plus how artificial intelligence is inspiring new music. And have you started thinking about your Valentine? Ours will melt your heart. Those stories and more today on the Texas Standard:

Texas Standard: February 12, 2018

A group of Texas voters are challenging how the state elects judges to its highest courts. We’ll explore why they say the system hurts Latino candidates. Also, it seems the battle for control of the Alamo is far from over. We’ll explore some criticism of how the restoration of the mission is being handled. And Texas dairy production is on the rise. One major reason is a shift in where in the state the cows are living. Plus the stewards of a Gulf of Mexico marine sanctuary are trying to expand its protected area. What that would mean for the fishing and off-shore drilling industries. And we’ll break down a study that found Houston isn’t doing enough to make apartment living safe in the city. All that and more on today’s Texas Standard:

My Valentine

At 60, I didn’t expect ever to fall in love again. I thought that sort of euphoric madness that comes with infatuation was all in the past – reserved for younger people. But I was wrong. When she came into my life, the world stopped – and changed forever.

I first saw her in photographs. Someone showed me pictures – black and white – grainy photos. She was interesting, but the pictures didn’t do her justice. When I met her in person, I thought she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. I was mesmerized. She was 7 ½ pounds and 19 inches of perfection.

At 60, she was my first girl. Perhaps not a bonafide miracle, but for me she was. My eternal valentine.

We named her Scarlett. And Paloma-Maria after her two grandmothers.

That very night I began keeping a journal for her.

I wrote: You are just a day old now. You are my ONLY girl, which makes you precious beyond measure. I will keep this little journal of our first years together. I will tell you what amazed you and what delighted you. Your first words will be here. Your first steps. I will do all I can, as will your mama, to make sure you are exposed to all the influences that will make you an extraordinary woman – one who is intellectually curious, adventurous, brave, full of self-confidence, but also empathetic and kind, a woman who is strong, and gentle, too, both a warrior and a poet.

Three years have passed now. People have started asking me how raising a girl, at least for me, is different from raising boys. I say, “Don’t know much, but let me tell you what I didn’t know.”

Until I had a girl, I didn’t know about spontaneous politeness and gratitude. Returning from the beach she said: “Thank you for taking me to the beach.”

Until I had a girl I didn’t have a child who thought I had super powers. She handed me scissors and a paper and said, “Can you make me a bicycle?” I said, “How about a rectangle?”

Until I had a girl I didn’t know you had to dance to the opening theme song of Dora the Explorer and Elena of Avalor. Scarlett’s motto is never miss a chance to dance.

Until I had a girl I sang the lullabies. But she’s not pleased with the way I sing them so she often takes over.

Until I had a girl I didn’t know that when you took her for a walk around the neighborhood in her big stroller, you had to take her dolls, too. I didn’t know that dolls left behind would be “sad.”

Until I had a girl I wasn’t awakened this way, singing Happy Birthday.

I couldn’t have been any more moved if it had actually been my birthday. Such technicalities don’t matter to her, though. People need to celebrate their birthdays at least once a month – to appreciate the simple joy of just being alive.

Until I had a girl I didn’t know there were so many colors in the world. She has 300 around her easel. She likes to paint vermillion crocodiles. To me they are just collages of triangles and squiggles, but I put them on the fridge anyway, and brag about her Picasso-like potential.

Until I had a girl I never got my nails painted. One day she got her mom’s polish and wanted to give me a manicure. I resisted. My wife shot me that “Don’t be a Neanderthal” look. I said, “Okay, one hand.” I forgot about it and later that afternoon I suddenly realized I was likely the only guy at the gun show with autumn mist nails. A man there noticed and said, “Next time – go camo.”

Until I had a girl I never had a child so empathetic. She wants to know how I’m feeling, if I’m happy or sad, or if my anything hurts and if I might need a doctor – and lucky for me, she happens to be one.

Until I had a girl I didn’t have a child so young so self-aware. I asked her if she was mama’s girl and dada’s girl. She said, “I’m Scarlett’s girl.” Gotta love that.

Until I had a girl I didn’t know that Valentine’s Day was so important. It’s her favorite holiday, along with Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and July 4th. But truly with her loving heart, Valentine’s was made for her. It’s a week away, but she’s already popped the question: “Dada, will you be my Valentine.”

Yes, always and forever. And your mama’s, too. After all, she did give me you.

Texas Standard: February 7, 2018

The Texas Governor reveals a plan to address issues surrounding sexual assault and harassment. We’ll have reaction from female lawmakers on both sides of the aisle. Also, it’s no secret construction is big business in Texas, and more women are getting involved to reap the benefits. But they also face challenges. We’ll have the story. And a self-cloning crustacean proves fascinating for pet owners and hobbyists but could cause some woes for environmentalists. A look at why. Plus Texas Standard commentator WF Strong gets a little lovey dovey in an unexpected way ahead of Valentine’s day. And we’ll crunch the numbers in a fact-check of a statement by the Texas Luetenant Governor. Those stories and more today on the Texas Standard:

Texas Standard: February 8, 2017

A new criminal charge: failure to cooperate with federal immigration officials. Upping the stakes in a so called sanctuary city bill, we’ll have the latest. Also the immigration and travel order now being litigated in the 9th circuit: the proverbial tip of the iceberg? NPR’s John Burnett joins us to explore whether we’re witnessing something more tectonic when it comes to immigration policy. Plus: a trainload of lawsuits, off the rails as the forces behind a high speed bullet train decide to play nice. We’ll hear what they have in mind. And our commentator pens a love letter to a rural Texas town and the possible tall tale behind its name. That and so much more today on the Texas Standard:

The How, Where and Why of Valentine, Texas

In Texas, we have a lot of towns with cool names. There is actually a town named Cool. And Cut and Shoot. And Valentine. Yes, Valentine. How cool is that? Especially if it’s February.

The story goes that a railroad crew, in 1882, had finished laying the tracks to the point where a water and fuel depot would be needed. It was Valentine’s Day. So they named the depot Valentine. It also was the name of one of their superiors, so the name has dual origins. Valentine, to give you coordinates, is halfway between L.A. and New Orleans, almost exactly 1000 miles from each. Or, if you want something local, halfway between Marfa and Van Horn. Deep in the Heart of West Texas.

Valentine never got very big. It says 217 on the city limits sign, but the mayor there, Jesus Calderon (who goes by Chuy), says that it is likely about 180 these days. Chuy has been mayor there for 40 years, likely a record of some kind for mayoral longevity in Texas. In addition to being mayor, he taught in the Valentine Independent School District for over decades and even worked part-time for many years as the local Fed Ex delivery man. Nobody knows Valentine like Chuy. He says there is no gas station, no ATM, and no crime.

The school, K-12, has about 40 students. Some years they only graduate five or six from high school. One year, not too long ago, they graduated two. Think about that. If you’re the poorer student of the two, you are simultaneously in the bottom 50 percent of your class and the salutatorian. Lisa Morton, who grew up there and is managing editor of the Van Horn Advocate, says that her sister graduated alone. I said that must have been a lonely event and she said, “Oh, no, the whole town came out to celebrate her big day.” Gotta love small towns.

Well, the town isn’t so small that it doesn’t have a post office. And in February they are busier than Santa’s elves on Christmas Eve. This time of year they receive thousands of cards to be re-mailed bearing the Valentine postage stamp. The cards come from all over the U.S. and as many as 30 foreign countries. One year they sent one to the White House, to Chelsea Clinton. Each year there is a design contest at the school and the winner has their “love logo” chosen as that year’s stamp. Imagine that. You can send your Valentine a Valentine from Valentine. Can’t get much more romantic than that!

Unless you take your Valentine to Valentine on the 14th. Chuy says they have a big party each year, underwritten by Big Bend Brewing Company from nearby Alpine. Last year, Jerry Jeff Walker played. Two years ago, Joe Ely was there playing his famous song, Saint Valentine. This year, Little Joe y La Familia will headline the event. Since Valentine’s Day falls on a Tuesday, there was pressure to move it to the weekend, but Mahala Guevara, vice president of Big Bend Brewing, explains in the official brochure: “West Texas was never known for convenience; to enjoy the best the region has to offer, you have to be willing to work for it. And your hard work will be rewarded with great Texas music… “

Gotta love it. A work ethic embedded in leisure. A very Texas concept.

Big Bend Brewing is even brewing a special ale for the event called Total Commitment. On the back of this limited edition brew it says, in part, “The owner of this…came all the way to Valentine, Texas, on a Tuesday night…what Total Commitment do you have to make.” At 14.2 percent proof, it is appropriately named. Makes my eyes a little misty thinking about it.

The most romantic Texas couple I know is Coach Taylor and his wife Tami, from Friday Night Lights. They are fictional, but they’re also authentically romantic. I could see them taking an impromptu road trip to Valentine for Valentine’s – just 200 miles from Dillon.

Coach Taylor always told his team: “clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.” It’s good advice for football. Probably good advice for love, too.

W.F. Strong is a Fulbright Scholar and professor of Culture and Communication at the University of Texas Rio Grande Valley. At Public Radio 88 FM in Harlingen, Texas, he’s the resident expert on Texas literature, Texas legends, Blue Bell ice cream, Whataburger (with cheese) and mesquite smoked brisket.